Women who want to be equal to men have no ambition

So I watched this video on feminism and why this girl is a feminist. It's a good video that encompasses all of the liberal feministic agenda including LGBT issues. You know, girly shit.

I was going to comment how I felt about it like any person does when they see something that makes them think or feel, like we get all dog humping a leg for some bacon excited about having a thought or feeling that we want to tell the world what we think. But then I was like, "Why waste this epic topic on a comment when I can blog the bitch."

First, in direct response to the video about equal pay, rape, LGBT equality... I don't care if you are a feminist or not. You can still shave your arm pits. If a monkey is living under your arms, it's time to take out the jungle. And you don't want people calling you Chewbacca because of your armpits. I'm sorry but it not only offends me, it scares the living shit out of me. I had a bad experience with hairy armpits as told here at Concert Experience of the Socially Awkward...

Now, in response to feminism...

I'm a woman who worked in nonprofit accounting frequently dealing with pigheaded men in the state's government. I left that to join the military, and then I managed tax offices before reproducing my awesome genetics as my contribution to society. I have been fired for showing too much skin "asking for" sexual harassment that I wasn't even complaining about. I have been fired for getting pregnant. I have been raped, and I had to wait for some a-hole to retire out of the military before I could report it on account that he didn't think women belonged in the military and was looking for any reason to twist something against me to get rid of me. He also laughed when I had a stalker leave a voice mail, one he listened to, in a spooky creepy voice saying he was going to strangle me with my own hair. When I worked at the non-profit in accounting, I did the job I was hired to do, then I took on additional roles including half of the Payroll Guy's duties and all of a guy we hired for a certain grant's duties. Both men got paid double what I made, and one had nothing to do but file things for people because I took his entire load on account he couldn't do it and we weren't getting paid. After all that shit... I am NOT a feminist. Like hell I'd be.

No. I had a magnet in high school that sums up how I feel. Women who want to be equal to men have no ambition. 

We are not less than men. We are not equals. We are better than them. Period.

If a man went through all the shit I went through, he wouldn't have half the sanity I have. I totally believe that. In the military, I had to do my job twice as well to be considered an equal to many people. I did that. So did a lot of other women.

Empirical evidence suggests that girls outperform boys in academics for just about every age group. It's common knowledge that girls are at least 2 years more mature than boys.

Physically, women are beautiful. We are not hairy oafs with an ugly ding a ling that would give little girls nightmares. No, we have curves. Less hair. Breasts and cleavage. Our vagina's are like a blooming flower. We seduce men more than the other way around, and for a reason. We are just the better looking gender. Even girls are more apt to do a 3-some with another woman as opposed to two men. There's a reason for that.

Also notice gay men are no where near the horn dogs of straight men? But lesbians are. Hmmm. Women are sexier.

In addition, our brains are generally smaller than a man-brain; however, we have more neuro-transferring bridges between both halves of the brain, meaning we use more of our brain than men do.

We are also the only ones whose body is useful. We can not only house a baby in our womb for 9 months, but we nurture it naturally while in the womb, and then again with breast milk. The only thing useful on a man is the size of a superball located near his ass.

Did you also know everyone is a girl to start? Yeah. While the chromosome determines gender, all males are awesome for a small, short period of their life until the hormones kick in and create some male junk.

So what does this mean?

Men should open doors for us. They should protect us from scary things. They should totally kill the bug.

They should be allowed to whistle at our ass and compliment us on our cleavage. I mean seriously, ladies, you have the IQ for it being a woman, what is really the difference between complimenting your eyes or your bust? Both are biological features.

They should attempt to pay for the meal on a date.

We should get paid on performance. If we are outperforming the men, our pay should be higher.

Rape should never happen, and a real man would do anything to protect a woman's innocence because they love innocence. Our bodies should be honored and admired, not treated like a consumable.

Men should listen to us not just because we are their mothers, but also because it is scientifically proven we probably do know what the fuck we are talking about.

Men should help with the housework. The entire load of all jobs and work should be put in a pile and split 50/50. If a man is getting a longer break than his woman, he's not admiring her is he. Nope, he's a pig.

I call pussy men pussies. Get the fuck over it. Nobody means it, in this day and age, that they are females and therefore less. Do you see happy people getting offended that we call homosexuals gay? If anyone should be offended at calling men pussies, it should be the cats, and they don't seem to give a shit. Cats never do.

Because men really aren't the brains or the boobs, all they got is their strength. Let them have it. Let them use it. The pickle jar should be their battle, not yours.

In the bedroom, there really should be an equal attempt at pleasing each other, but cmon ladies, if you know what you are doing, you can please yourself while pleasing your man, and we please him because we are better at that sort of thing than they are, and their hormones require it. I mean if a man doesn't clear his balls enough, that is like a huge health hazard.

And because we are the superior gender, shave your fucking arm pits.

A great article on the biology of gender roles... It suggests women are not more emotional biologically, but our brains adapting to a male dominated society. Soak on that shit with a blunt and some tequila.

A good article about how boys are falling behind in academics (to girls)

Message to Men: The Musical

Because BatMiley always has Robin, people think you are an a-hole if you talk about Miley without talking about Robin, so since I already talked about Miley, this is my way to complete the BatMiley and Robin saga. Actually, I mean these people to be metaphorical. Miley is the objectified piece of meat bad example we women can all learn what NOT to do from as explained in all the slut shaming posts. Robin is the objectifier we all forget to blame in this man vs woman battle that has gone on since God took a chunk of Adam's rib (it probably didn't go down exactly like that, the taking of the rib). I can't really sit here and blogger spank Miley for her behavior telling all the women out there, "Don't do that," and not have something to say about the men.

Message to Young Women: The Musical

(my post about Miley)

Now this one is for the Men. The manly men. The macho macho men...

There's actually two syndromes that do not exist in the DSM that many men suffer from that also seemingly attack the feminist concept directly due to their feelings of inadequacy. The first one is short man syndrome. Small penises will turn a real man into a douche canoe. It's almost like they overcompensate with douchebaggery. If your dick is small, at least your douche bag is huge. Not attractive guys. The second syndrome that doesn't exist in the world of APA, Macho Man Syndrome. Pretty boys. Guys who don't have the body of Larry the Lobster off Spongebob, regardless of how much effort and time they spend on it at the gym. It appears men in these circumstances are concerned about two things. How women perceive them. How other men perceive them. 

How do we women perceive you? 

So my first message to men everywhere, get over your penis. Do you really think you need a big penis to satisfy a woman? Here's some insider information on women. A, a big penis generally scares off women who have yet to push out a baby from her pie hole. B, a big penis pretty much ensures that anal will never happen for you. Women are actually more comfortable around bite sized awesome when it comes to experimenting with uncomfortable concepts. That also includes oral sex. We could choke and die from porno sized penises trying to perform oral on that, and we even have a bigger fear about oral than choking and dying. It's vomiting all over your dick. We just don't want something that epically embarrassing lingering around our reputation, and the bigger it is, the more deep throating that is required, and deep throating leads to vomiting. C, you don't even need a penis to satisfy a woman in ways beyond her wildest imagination. Don't believe me? Ask a lesbian. Most of our lady bits that like to be fondled are pretty close to the front. Most of your tongues should be able to reach it. 

Now, the macho man syndrome. A woman's idealization of what a man SHOULD be usually comes from her father. If her dad is not a macho man, you definitely don't have to worry about it. Yes women like muscles, but muscles won't guarantee that you will get laid. When we women share pictures of muscular models dressed as cowboys and firefighters, whether it's on Facebook or a magazine, we may say we love that, but nine times out of ten, we don't want to actually have sex with that, or even a relationship with it. It's just eye candy and nothing more. See, we don't look at dick like it's chocolate, give it to me now. We look at it like it's a toilet. Is it clean enough to sit on? 

Women do this too. We all screw up the gender paradigm of sexy. Most women believe what is attractive for a female, what you men want, what they aspire to be, is blond (even if bleached), anorexia skinny, big boobs (even if it's toilet paper in their bra), a firm ass, clown face makeup, high heels to appear taller and make the legs look skinny, skin cancer tan, appear barely old enough to legally fuck, be so stupid you can't talk about much, and be very passive let you take charge and all responsibility for things without a break. Yeah. Sound like what you want? You men do it too. You base your concept of what is sexy to us women on media hype just like we women do. Macho men with the perfect abs is not what women want. I think most people of substance are just looking for the truth. Someone who doesn't play games. Someone who can keep it real. The rest is just social charades. 

How do men perceive you? 

Why are you men so afraid of being perceived as gay? That's the number one insult I hear amongst boys. I think more men suffer from homophobia than women. That is not something I know to have statistics to say I'm right, but I bet I am right. There is nothing wrong with being gay. It is not a bad thing. If you like rainbows and women, that's ok. You are allowed to like both rainbows and women. In fact, women are very attractive to girlier men. We want someone who can enjoy shopping with us and help us match our clothes. I don't leave the house sometimes without the husband dressing me because I suck at matching my own clothes. I write about fashion. I got paid to write about fashion. My husband dresses me when it's important that I look good. I love it. I love not worrying about it. 

Regardless, what does this all boil down to? You are not actually worried about what women think of you. You are worried about what other men think of you. If you do not feel manly enough to hang with the big boys, if you do not feel Alpha Dog enough, if your mustache isn't thick enough, if you do not feel like your penis is the biggest penis in the room, you take it out on us women. You then try to prove yourself by objectifying women because nothing appears more manly and powerful than owning a pet who respects her master. It's like your way of saying, "Well I'm still manly enough for this party because look at how I dominated the bitch here. Stop sassing me bitch, go make me a sammich." That's when your douchebag overcompensates for your penis size. 

Instead of doing that, why don't you, I don't know, grow a fucking self-esteem? Confidence is sexy. If you desire to get laid, replace the fake arrogance with a little confidence. If you really want to prove to the men that you are manly, show them you are manly enough to take charge. That you can decide to wear pink and rock it better than they could. That you can respect women better than they could. That their lack of respect for women is unmanly. That you are smarter and more advanced to require more than some tits and ass to swing your dingaling. That you know how to love and how to be loved, and that you take good care of those you love better than anyone else could. That you are better than macho man, you are a lion who has pride in your pride, in your family, in your loved ones. That you are the epitome of what it means to be a man, fuck the hype. 

That IS what it takes to be a man. To take charge of not women, but of the other men. 

Look around at the men who are doing that. Guess who they did dominate after all? Women. Because we are attracted to men like that. We really want to be loved and taken care of. We don't want to be servants, but princesses. We want to feel smart, sexy, and beautiful. And we don't feel those things when all you are concerned about is our ability to twerk it in front of your penis half naked 3 sheets to the wind. When all you want to do is shut us up by sticking your penis in our mouth. If you wanted a hole to stick it in, you know you can just fuck a warm apple pie just the same. It's plump. There's also your left hand, which if that's all you want from us women, it's very possible that's the only thing your hand is good for, a good monkey spank. 

Let's look at Robin Thicke in this video. I actually imagine Robin to be one of those gentle lovers if he's active in the bedroom, but I also imagine him to do a lot of just laying there as well. Why do I think that? Because in a video like this, he does a lot of laying there standing around doing nothing making the woman do all the work. Just laying there is not manly. It's lazy. 

The way you men look at us women like you want it. I know you want it. Like Pharrell watching that girl dance... you look pathetic. Stop it. That's about as macho as getting a hard on in school when the old lady teacher Mrs Bentwood bends over showing the top of her knee highs. Have you ever sat down to eat your dinner, a big meal, something so good you want to savor every bite and enjoy this meal, and then the dog comes over sticking his paw on your thigh giving you the doggie eyes that scream, "Please give me a piece of your chicken?" And you tell the dog to go away, and he won't. He won't leave you the fuck alone. He may not be barking, but his begging is annoying the ever living piss out of you that you cannot enjoy your dinner. Yeah, that's what you men do to us. You are the fucking annoying begging nagging dog. 

Sit. Stay. Roll over and play dead. Good boy. Feel macho now? 

And why must you grab your dicks when you dance? Do you see us women grabbing our boobs? No. It's just silly. Stop it. Quit touching it. You might wake up the sleeping dragon and it will just fuck up your night trying to fuck everything. 

There's more to life than sex. While sex is a story about passion usually with a happy ending, there's often a sequel that entails tragedy of disease and the struggle of parenthood. Because there's more to life than sex, please tell me there is more to you than it, because if all you are about is poking people with your stick, you are a whore. That's it. A crackhead whore whose opinion is worth nothing. Robin Thicke, his opinion does not matter. It's okay Robin, just sit there do that little smile, aww bless his heart, now go watch some football and grille something, let us grown ups talk here. His father, however, has a lot more to bring to the table. Alan, come over here, we want to know what you think about your son objectifying himself in sexual manners on television. Miley's dad didn't seem to care when she did it. Please tell me you disagree. 

The biggest message I want to send to all you... YOUR DICK IS NOT A USED CAR. Quit trying to sell it. Fuck. The haggling. Please buy my dick. Please suck it. Please fuck it. No, I'm not trying to sleep with you. I just want to kiss you. I promise I won't let it go too far. Just let me kiss you. What's so wrong about a kiss? Awww, I love that kiss, now let me just touch your lady parts. Please let me touch it. Why don't you touch mine? We aren't going to have sex. I swear on my grandfather's grave I won't have sex with you. We are just messing around a little, please touch it. I'm just taking off your pants, it's not like we are going to fuck. What's so wrong about me sticking my dick in one of your holes? It's not like I'm asking you to have sex with my friends? Actually, if you don't mind, my boy over here could use some love too. Shut the fuck up already. 

Really, do us all a favor. Before you show up to our date, masturbate. Please. Please PLEASE PLEASE. Maybe if you masturbate, your dick won't be so fucking annoying.

To all you men who already have your penises on a leash, thank you. Thank you for being a real man, for dominating the hardest, and I mean HARDEST, thing possible to dominate. Control your wood, my sexy lumberjack. 

 

ALSO please understand one thing. Rape is wrong. It's not a joke. If someone shoved an umbrella up your ass and opened it, would you want the world to think you asked for it by the way you dress and act? Because a lot of you DO ASK FOR IT with your douchebaggery. See, that would just be insensitive of me to think that way wouldn't it? Aw come on, quit making up shit. I know you want it. I know you want it. Yes, I too can tear your ass in two. 

Let our lady nuts go biatch. 

  

Message to young women, the musical

I noticed a new trend with the younger female generation, especially the Disney stars. Whore is in. The fuck is wrong with you. Do you know how much shit we women put up with trying to step outside the stereotype? The get in the kitchen and make me a sammich. The drop on your knees like a bitch.

When I was young and free, I used to make fun of whores. The girl who went down on every guy at the party. The crack head on the dance floor dancing to her own rhythm showing boobs and meat drapes without knowing it. The low self esteem trying to make out with her crack head friend for attention they obviously couldn't get otherwise. The short skirts. The bikini like tops.

These women think they want attention. Let me tell you what women want. We want...

And you ain't gettin us any of that with all that half naked twerkin.

I just watched Miley Cyrus segment of the VMA 2013, and she cray. Girl be trippin.

THIS USED TO BE THE SPOT WHERE I POSTED THE VIDEO OF VMA. They keep disappearing off youtube. I give up. I can't even begin to describe it for you. If you didn't see it you didn't see. I'm not sorry for you. Enjoy watching Hannah Montana stuff. Do not keep reading. Ignorance IS bliss. Enjoy the bliss.


I just watched the girl molest a foam fan finger. The little girl my 6 year old idolizes was on television molesting a toy my kid also wanted (Steelers actually). I'm really thinking of telling my kids Hannah Montana was killed by crack. Butt crack and crank crack. And don't you think Miley I don't recognize someone on some sort of illegal narcotic. You had a high, my guess cocaine or ecstasy. What happened? The stage got boring? You got used to that high and you needed an extra boost? I ain't judging you. Some of our pillars of society including previous presidents enjoyed that shit. Me, I won't try it because I know me. I'll get hooked with the freebie alone. Shit, I have a Diet Coke, Motrin, Vodka problem. They don't even have rehabs for that.

But this isn't about the drugs. It's about the whoreism. Never go full whore, unless you are in drag. Miley, you went full whore. You're not the first. I know you are surrounded by other celebrities, and people who will obviously do anything for you, and that includes telling you what you want to hear. Beautiful women do whatever the fuck they want to do. Nobody has the balls to tell them otherwise. When you say, "Am I twerking right?" to one of your dancers, and they be all like, "Girl you look hot," they gonna say that no matter what you look like because you are Miley Cyrus. But girl you did not look hot tonight. You looked like every girl I see at the club. Whoring. Off rhythm. Actually, you looked like a 14 year old girl whoring at the club for the first time. That actually gives me hope that you are still that naive...

Fact of the matter is, Miley looked like a lot of girls in America. The new generation of girls. The I need attention watch me whore myself for it. They could be virgins, but you will never know the way they straddle the bar stool or pole on the dance floor. And poorly at that. My girl Nikki offline (not Moms who Drink and Swear LOL she will love it though if you confuse them I'm sure), my girl Nikki, AKA Tricky Nikki, I've seen that girl twerk a pole on the dance floor ass cheeks clapping the damn thing. Now that ain't twerkin. That's workin. She didn't do it for attention or to get guys. No, we were involved in a dance territory issue. That night. Before that night, she used to be a stripper. Don't knock it. She fed her kids with that.

Let me tell you how it's done. Let me tell you how I do. I had my party days. I used to go out to the club at least twice a week if not more. Ladies night, Friday night, and Saturday night. Whatever I could afford, time and money because my job always came first.

First the clothes. I had friends who frequently wore mini skirts, low cleavage tops, hooker boots... the whole nine yards. Me, I was determined to make whatever I had look good. I like the dude look. Dudes know how to dress. They know how to act. They always look chill. I can switch that up to my style easy. So back in the day, the dudes wore stuff like this over there.

I took that outfit look and put on a spaghetti strap tank underneath, unzipped the zipper right below my boobs, and boom, I was pimping. Every week after that, girls were wearing my style.

The other thing I did, black pants and a nice dress shirt, usually sleeveless. Um, you can't go to the club now without seeing half the people dressed like that. You're welcome. I did it because jeans, like all my friends were wearing, gave me gas. I needed elastic pant tops.

But that's my thing. I'm the trendsetter whores follow. I can pull off class in a way the weaker women want to mimic. Some of them over whorify the look, but the thing is I pull it off. Now let me tell what that difference is.

Confidence.

See I don't need to mimic someone else's style. I do my own thing. I don't want to look like every girl in the club. I like all eyes on me, even if I'm camera shy with stage fright, I still like all eyes on me when I walk into a club, and I'm not going to get that being like everyone else. I get that being me, even if I'm covered up more than other women, even if my dress was 7 dollars at Walmart, even if I'm an old fat mom.

Why? Because...

I think the problem is role models. See, most women look up to train wrecks like Britney Spears. Even children like my daughters look up to people like that when it comes to determining what to wear to school. Whatever is pop. I never wanted to be a peasant girl like that. I always looked for royalty. People I look up to for fashion, style, swag, milk shake...

The two reigning queens of R&B and Hip Hop are Mary J. Blige and Erykah Badu. They are royalty. They are the best female vocalists you can find when it comes to beauty, talent, class and badass. They are the phenomenal women poets like Maya Angelou write about. They empower women with their song. They are icons to what it means to be a woman. You won't see them twerking it with some non-kosher sausage on the dance floor. You find them kicking ass, inspiring people to think deeper and feel deeply. These are the women I want my daughters to look up to.

And someone like Miley Cyrus comes close (not that close), but she's still a baby. The more she tries to prove she's grown up, the more she shows her youth. It was awesome how she cut her hair flipping off the gender paradigm of the expectations regarding a woman's hair. But she destroyed it by going full whore, by following everyone else, by trying to be Rhianna, even if it was merely for entertainment purposes. I'm sure she had fun. I'd have fun doing all that. Maybe if she looked more like me trying to do all those moves she could pull it off as humor. Girl, and all you girls out there, if you are sick of being treated like a child, you need to act like a woman.

What does that even mean?

My girl Koko will tell you what it means...

And don't forget Peg from Lady and the Tramp... She can tell you what that means...

You can twerk it, you can work it, get drunk, get crunk, but you ain't grown until you shown what it means to be a woman.

Again, never go full whore unless you are in drag. Tell yourself, "I'm better than that."

Still shake that ass once in a while. I can't mop my floor without shaking it. And it takes skill to shake it the way I shake it. Twerkin ain't got shit on me. Like for real, if all you can do is hump things...

Edited to add, due to the sufficient amount of vodka that was drank during the writing of this blog (it's the only thing breaking my PMS fever), I might of forgotten one very important video. Ladies, this is how you are supposed to dance. Don't get me wrong, you are fine, but that means you are fine enough you don't need to twerk it for attention.