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Dribbles and Grits to Crumpets and Bollocks: The Boogeyman IS Real! Sort of.

The Boogeyman IS Real! Sort of.


When I was a kid, I really believed that monsters were real. Not the boogeyman. Not Santa Claus. No, church had me convinced that Satan and his army of invisible demons was out to get me and eat my soul. 
Now exactly what is more sadistic? Evil people trying to take over the world by genocide? Or scaring the shit out of little children for shits and giggles? At least evil people had a price, and it wasn't cheap. 

I spent many sleepless nights in prayer while singing praise songs from church in hopes that it would scare off my boogeymen. Norman Rockwell didn't do a print about that now did he? I remember often times being too scared to even walk all the way to my parents' room, so most nights were spent facing the greatest fear of them all, being alone. 

If only demons were really this sexy... mmm David Grohl
I'm not sure if my parents' arms could bring comfort to me at that point because what is that going to do to demons? They want my parents' soul too, according to the church. The ONLY power that can stop this monster is God, who just also happens to be invisible, so you have no idea if it's working. 

I was able to maintain through most of my childhood via stuffed animals. I watched The Velveteen Rabbit once, and somewhere in the story, they insinuated that if you loved a stuffed animal enough, it becomes a real soul. Love is so powerful it can create life in the after-life. So that was my mission. While Satan was busy building an army worthy of Mordor, I was building mine. I know. The shit that goes on in the mind of a child.

My army consisted of tigers. They were my Marines. My foot soldiers. I also had dogs, because I needed a loyal companion. Dinosaurs were my tanks. I even had Air Power: an angel teddy bear and a Pegasus. These were all animals I worked hard at loving to give them a soul, so they can fight the monsters for me. Every night I felt a teensy bit scared, I lined them up in formation on the parts of the bed I wasn't using, creating a wall of kick-ass between me and the demons.  

Fluffy, my Fluppy Dog, became my right hand man, organizing and training the army in my absence as I had really important things to do like play with Barbie dolls. I got her for Christmas when I was 6 years old in 1984, almost a month after my husband was born. That year, I really wanted a Barbie Mansion like my friend Tonya had. One with an elevator. It was the ONLY thing I really wanted. I thought the huge wrapped box had to be the Barbie Mansion, and I saved it for last. I opened the thing, and inside this box was not a barbie mansion. It was a stupid, small stuffed dog. My mom apparently couldn't find a box to fit it in, so she opted for the over-sized one big enough to fit a bike. Fluffy found her way to my closet piled of toys to be ignored for months until the demons scared me, and I couldn't find any comfort until I grabbed her randomly from that closet. Soon later, I recruited more soldiers. 

To the left is Fluffy, my right hand man and personal assistant. Of course, she always forgets to remind me
of all my appointments. I don't know why. She has seen better days. Remember, she turns 30 this December, which makes her like 133 in dog years. To the right is Sher Khan. He's my bodyguard and a huge fan of irony.

As I grew older, I learned that the battle between good and evil isn't between angels and demons, but within the heart of every angel and demon. Demons are not monsters. They are evil yes, but when God decides to conquer hell, they won't be evil anymore. Love is the powerful weapon against evil, not because it divides with war, but because it unites with peace. So I learned not to fear the monsters of the night, but to embrace whatever good I find in them. But if I'm wrong about this, God now has tigers, bears and a one-eyed Pegasus to add to his Army of Angels. Fluffy and the Archangel Michael hopefully won't argue too much about who is in charge, but if they do, I got my money on Fluffy because she won't hesitate to give you the cute puppy dog face.  

I am 35 years old, and I still have Fluffy. The kids love her. 

I'm not sure where the rest of my animal army is, but maybe I'll find them again in the afterlife. 

This is part of Finish the Sentence Friday. You can find more about what bloggers believed as children by going to Finding Ninee. 


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Dribbles and Grits to Crumpets and Bollocks: The Boogeyman IS Real! Sort of.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

The Boogeyman IS Real! Sort of.


When I was a kid, I really believed that monsters were real. Not the boogeyman. Not Santa Claus. No, church had me convinced that Satan and his army of invisible demons was out to get me and eat my soul. 
Now exactly what is more sadistic? Evil people trying to take over the world by genocide? Or scaring the shit out of little children for shits and giggles? At least evil people had a price, and it wasn't cheap. 

I spent many sleepless nights in prayer while singing praise songs from church in hopes that it would scare off my boogeymen. Norman Rockwell didn't do a print about that now did he? I remember often times being too scared to even walk all the way to my parents' room, so most nights were spent facing the greatest fear of them all, being alone. 

If only demons were really this sexy... mmm David Grohl
I'm not sure if my parents' arms could bring comfort to me at that point because what is that going to do to demons? They want my parents' soul too, according to the church. The ONLY power that can stop this monster is God, who just also happens to be invisible, so you have no idea if it's working. 

I was able to maintain through most of my childhood via stuffed animals. I watched The Velveteen Rabbit once, and somewhere in the story, they insinuated that if you loved a stuffed animal enough, it becomes a real soul. Love is so powerful it can create life in the after-life. So that was my mission. While Satan was busy building an army worthy of Mordor, I was building mine. I know. The shit that goes on in the mind of a child.

My army consisted of tigers. They were my Marines. My foot soldiers. I also had dogs, because I needed a loyal companion. Dinosaurs were my tanks. I even had Air Power: an angel teddy bear and a Pegasus. These were all animals I worked hard at loving to give them a soul, so they can fight the monsters for me. Every night I felt a teensy bit scared, I lined them up in formation on the parts of the bed I wasn't using, creating a wall of kick-ass between me and the demons.  

Fluffy, my Fluppy Dog, became my right hand man, organizing and training the army in my absence as I had really important things to do like play with Barbie dolls. I got her for Christmas when I was 6 years old in 1984, almost a month after my husband was born. That year, I really wanted a Barbie Mansion like my friend Tonya had. One with an elevator. It was the ONLY thing I really wanted. I thought the huge wrapped box had to be the Barbie Mansion, and I saved it for last. I opened the thing, and inside this box was not a barbie mansion. It was a stupid, small stuffed dog. My mom apparently couldn't find a box to fit it in, so she opted for the over-sized one big enough to fit a bike. Fluffy found her way to my closet piled of toys to be ignored for months until the demons scared me, and I couldn't find any comfort until I grabbed her randomly from that closet. Soon later, I recruited more soldiers. 

To the left is Fluffy, my right hand man and personal assistant. Of course, she always forgets to remind me
of all my appointments. I don't know why. She has seen better days. Remember, she turns 30 this December, which makes her like 133 in dog years. To the right is Sher Khan. He's my bodyguard and a huge fan of irony.

As I grew older, I learned that the battle between good and evil isn't between angels and demons, but within the heart of every angel and demon. Demons are not monsters. They are evil yes, but when God decides to conquer hell, they won't be evil anymore. Love is the powerful weapon against evil, not because it divides with war, but because it unites with peace. So I learned not to fear the monsters of the night, but to embrace whatever good I find in them. But if I'm wrong about this, God now has tigers, bears and a one-eyed Pegasus to add to his Army of Angels. Fluffy and the Archangel Michael hopefully won't argue too much about who is in charge, but if they do, I got my money on Fluffy because she won't hesitate to give you the cute puppy dog face.  

I am 35 years old, and I still have Fluffy. The kids love her. 

I'm not sure where the rest of my animal army is, but maybe I'll find them again in the afterlife. 

This is part of Finish the Sentence Friday. You can find more about what bloggers believed as children by going to Finding Ninee. 


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