The Real Meaning of Back to School Christmas

At the end of summer, I always feel like...

At the end of summer, I always feel like a neutered dog. I have this overwhelming groggy feeling with a huge sense that I lost an important piece of me somewhere, and I'm just sitting here asking myself, "What the fuck just happened?" 

I don't remember what summers and falls were like before kids outside of the smell of popcorn lingering across the bleachers at a high school football game while my underwear was frozen to my ass, which gave one of those gushing "It's Christmas" feelings in my chest. I love football season. I love autumn.

But now that I have kids, this is a time of year where the glory of sending them back to school is supposed to be a time to celebrate. Summer was full of days where the kids either had cabin fever stuck at home while I got things done, or we were out everywhere blowing pay checks on the cost of going to a pool, or goofy golf, or some little trip designed to amuse the children enough to cure symptoms of cabin fever like blind rage toward each other, walking on the walls, and climbing curtains literally and hope they actually fall asleep before midnight. (Note: I still have the Dora Blanket pinned up to my living room window courtesy of the children's summer redecorating program).

Anticipating the start of the school year reminds me of those days as a child when I anticipated vacation at Disney World or Christmas.

I expected this...

But then the reality of school sets in. The government isn't going to give you free babysitting for free. No. That would be too easy. You have to give them your soul for this trade.

Every year school begins, the schools start demanding a bunch of horse shit tasks of a parent that reminds them why they looked forward to summer to begin with. This year, I had the pleasure of enrolling my youngest in Pre-School. While excited that all 3 kids will be in school, finally, for the first time in my life, I was still hopping on one foot and then dancing on the other while rubbing my head and patting my belly to turn in the necessary paperwork and get the shots up to date and all the jive that comes with enrolling into school. Any time I showed the slightest amount of objection, the schools threatened not to babysit my kids for me. We all know the hardest most demanding job out there is that of a mother, so extra unnecessary tasks is what we love to add to our plate.

I wrote this one myself. Can you tell?

Then school starts and every morning in order to obtain free babysitting services, I have to get my kids there on time. On time. You might as well say, "You have to do a handstand every day with a duck's penis." I know some people are like, "That's not that hard," and duck's penis is not, but when it comes to parenting, those people either don't have kids or they only have like one kid and a bunch of supportive adults helping them. That's ok if you do get help, but you lose the high horse with that. I assure you when it's one woman doing all the work to get 3 kids somewhere, anywhere, "on time" is just not an option. But the schools mandate that we grow this tail out of our ass and defy the basic laws of physics.

One of my infamous excuse reasons on the sign in sheet at school describes what happens every morning with these kids. I'm willing to bet it went over most educators' heads because irony... The centripetal force of my kids is so strong it increased earth's gravitational pull [at our location] thereby slowing down time for us. That's precisely what happens on a metaphorical level, and possibly on a physical literal one as well. Time is relative, meaning it depends on where you are. It's so possible this is what happened to that hour that time you were wiping a butt one minute and then you moved onto finding shoes and you know that did not just take an hour to do, but according to the clock, yes it did.

I honestly suggest looking up the science to what I just said so you can teach it to your kids since the schools won't. And if you didn't click on duck penis earlier, you should. That's biology your kid won't learn at school.

Time Dilation for Dummies
Gravitational Time Dilation on Wikipedia


Common morning experiences getting kids ready for school... At least for me...

• all 3 kids decide they can't dress themselves
• they want to wear different shirt
• they won't wear anything but the dirty pink dress with a gaping hole in the arm pit
• they want to pack a lunch last second
• they can't find their homework
• nobody can find a matching shoe for the life of them (it's usually in the car)
• you forgot to make them take a bath the night before and you can tell by smell they aren't wiping right
• 2 of 3 kids refuse to let you brush their hair, so you chase them like a game of tag tricking them for each hair brush swipe before saying "fuck it go with bed head." 
• There's a pile of mysterious ketchup on the backpack
• The PreK kid's folder is covered, inside and out, in sticky wetness which requires the use of Fantastick and you just read in the 1st grader's folder that you have to fill out this form and turn it in that day and the 3rd grader isn't sure if she even brought her folder home
• You see an advertisement for Picture day and have a mini-heart attack that today could be that day before you realize it was last month or it's not until next week. This happens every day.
• You realize how messy your house is and find yourself uncontrollably cleaning a little or throwing in a quick load of laundry on your way out the door 
• You realize, usually about the time you are looking for your car keys, that you are wearing the same clothes you wore yesterday and the school might notice. Then you ponder about the costs and benefits to brushing your teeth as you change your shirt and hope nobody pays attention to pants. 
• You give 3 kids a shower at once, dry them off at once, dress them at once, find clothes and shoes for 3 kids at once, brush hair at once while they are asking things like, "Why does the color blue look blue?" and "Solma won't stop looking at me!" and "I want to take my fluffy unicorn to school with me, where is it?" It's really the mindfuck of all mindfucks.
• After 25 minutes of looking, you found the spare keys (nevermind the actual set you usually use) in a toy box in the closet in the kids' room. 
• You get everyone to the car for the first time, and one of them has to pee, they forgot something in the house, all now have to pee, or someone pees their pants, or falls into a mud puddle, or sits on an old milkshake your husband left in the car. 
• The second time you get everyone back into the car, the seat belt buckle won't buckle. She's in the front seat it's my turn to sit in the front. The Pre-K kid now wants to sit in the front knowing she's not allowed to. Someone wants to go in through the window instead of the door. The 3rd grader leaves the car to look at the rocks because we are taking too long.
• We start driving to school, FINALLY, and oh shit, I forgot my purse. I need the ID to get into the school building to drop of Pre-K kid. Turn around.
• Run in the house to get ID, and put all 3 kids back into the car because I took too long, which is any time longer than it takes for them to unbuckle themselves and "make themselves comfortable." 
• Show up 5 minutes late and deal with all the dirty glares from teachers and secretaries like I obviously just tarred and feathered my kids in the name of bad parenting. They do look at my kids with pity like, "Those poor kids have such a fucked-up mother." 

Dear teachers, can we not make this deal?

No seriously, I won't care that you gave my Gabby Logan's artwork in her folder if you promise not to care that her homework is covered in pancake syrup. I won't care that you give me my Gabby all hyper at the end of the day because you had her sitting still for most of it following absurd rules you made up for a false sense of control if you don't care that I do the exact opposite for cognitive growth and healthy psychological sense of trust, especially since I have no choice because you hogged all the quiet sit still time she could possibly give in a day. 

So by the time I actually get to school and drop them off, it's like I just left my stomach and working brain behind because it goes from complete chaos to complete peace in point five. It's so extreme it leaves me a state of blah for most of the day, too much so that I can't actually enjoy the few hours without the kids. The blah even smothers out the guilt of being late, or leaving a head unbrushed, or sending a kid with a lunch box full of marshmallows and fruit snacks, or a kid wearing black sweatpants with a navy blue top and sparkling pink slippers over stained, unmatching white socks. It doesn't really go away until I sleep it off all night, and the next morning, between the first cup of caffeine and the moment I have to wake up the kids for school, I feel human.

Then on top of it, schools are a melting pot of cooties like a hospital nobody disinfected. Yes kids have cooties. Lots of fucking cooties. And we herd them all into a school environment where it is managed, at best, with the occasional use of Clorox Cleanup Wipes. Kids can handle most cooties as their immune systems are developing and battling the germs like no other, but my immune system is old and set in its ways. It doesn't know what the fuck to do with all these germs, so every school year, I get sick. Usually within the first week of school, I'm sick, and I continue to be sick all year round, catching something new about the time I'm getting over something else.

So everything I just described, I generally do it with a sinus-induced migraine, sneezes, snot running out of my nose into my mouth while I'm trying to squeeze a kid into the wrong pair of pants.

Basically, at the end of summer, I feel blah. Numbing blah where I'm identifying what I'm looking at consciously, you know, like computer. That's a computer. TV, the noise is the TV. Dinner, that's something I have to make isn't it?

P.S. If you really think kids go to school to get educated, LOL you are naive. It's been nothing more than a free babysitting service provided by the government for decades. Check America out in how well we compare, in education, with other countries. They are not getting "educated." They are getting "conformed." I'm also not a hippy. I'm just not a sheeple. I'm the type of person who throws away the science textbook so I can read Einstein's notes. I'm such a rebel. No actually I had good teachers who didn't follow curriculum when I was a kid.

P.P.S. This is a blog post about MY FEELINGS. If you decided it was an invite to knock my parenting because you're so perfect (which you are not, you probably suck that bad-parenting cock down better than I ever could), I'm probably going to publicly humiliate you in several places.

For more Finish the Sentence Friday, check out the link-up on Finding Ninee

Education Reform by Cyber-Parents

For a Printable, Document version, CLICK ME!

I have compiled some thoughts about education from parents and parent bloggers online, including some of my own unique thoughts.

Education Reform

by Parent Bloggers and Parents

compiled by Michelle L. Grewe, blogger for Crumpets and Bollocks

Another Title might be Ways To Spend More Money, but it needs it.

Top Topics of Parent Bloggers regarding Education

• Safety from school shootings
• Common Core Curriculum
• Attendance and Education Neglect
• Driving your kid to school wearing flannel pj’s (we won’t go any further into that one)

Topics covered below:

1. Standardized Testing

2. Bullying

3. Attendance

4. Security

5. High School Curriculum and College Credit

6. Classroom arrangement

7. Common Core

The Supreme Court has repeatedly held that parents possess the “fundamental right” to “direct the upbringing and education of their children.” The Court also declared that “the child is not the mere creature of the State: those who nurture him and direct his destiny have the right coupled with the high duty to recognize and prepare him for additional obligations.” (Pierce v. Society of Sisters, 268 U.S. 510, 534-35) The Supreme Court criticized a state legislature for trying to interfere “with the power of parents to control the education of their own.” (Meyer v. Nebraska, 262 U.S. 390, 402.) In recognition of both the right and responsibility of parents to control their children’s education, the Court has stated, “It is cardinal with us that the custody, care and nurture of the child reside first in the parents, whose primary function and freedom include preparation for the obligations the State can neither supply nor hinder.” (Prince v. Massachusetts, 321 U.S. 158)  From http://mrsmomblog.com/2014/03/29/why-my-children-will-not-take-state-assessments/

When asked “What do you think are major problems in today’s education and how would you resolve them?” on my Facebook Pages:

Benjamin M Keysor The problem is kids are not punished for doing something they should not of been doing. When I was in elementary school, when someone did something they weren't supposed to they could potentially get paddled, with a wooden paddle. There was also detention, in school suspension program- where you sat in one room all day doing your work and only leaving the room for a few restroom breaks and lunch. You could also be suspended from school a few days. Then there was Friday and Saturday school. Friday school is where you would sit in the cafeteria for 3 hours after school let out. Then Saturday school, you reported to school on Saturday morning at 9 am and sit in one room doing school work/home work for like 4 hours. I would often get Saturday school from being late so many times but I would usually skip it and then end up getting suspended for 3 days. Now days you don't even hear of a kid getting detention.

Kim Myers In my opinion teaching has moved too far away from the teaching of children and into the teaching what curriculum has been funded and lobbied the most. As well as "teaching to the test" instead of teaching to the development of successful students.

The students recognize that once the standardized testing "season" is done essentially there is nothing left to do.

In short less focus on standardized testing and more focus on successful teaching and students.

Barbara Dodson I now have Grandchildren in school and as IN THEIR school, it would be more of NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND IF they went back to learning by unified recital of the ABC's n Timestables as well as the pledge of allegiance and morning prayer. THE POLITICIANS DO IT WHY SHOULDN'T we or our children.

Randi Evette All children do not learn the same way and the kids that aren't like everyone else get left out. Most teachers don't observe their students to see what makes them click, what gets their wheels turning. They are set in their ways and whoever doesn't catch on gets left by the wayside. This relates to special needs children as well as kids that just learn differently. I feel that we need to take a look at how other countries teach their kids, because they're smarter and somehow seemingly happier. I'll think of some ideas and email them to you. I just woke up and saw this.

Misty Boley Agreed Randi, I understand they have things that need to be taught on time, but, not every child is the same, learning struggles and set backs and teachers keep on moving forward

Lina Mumm Just take back everything George Bush has contributed to our wonderful education...no child left behind has ruined it. Teachers teach to the standardized tests. It doesn't help those who need the extra help to actually learn the material, and it bores the gifted students who actually need to be challenged. Kids shouldn't go to school to be brainwashed...they should be there to learn critical thinking skills.

Marguerite Louis More play to calm kids down

Shelly Bastion Drys Get rid of Common Core! This is killing today's kids love to learn and is even more difficult on kids who have learning disabilities.

Shannon Styles:  In a nutshell, here are the main problems with Ed Reform:

*Common Core was introduced and thrown on districts with little to no research. In order for states to receive the Race To The Top federal money (which turns out to be roughly $12 per student) the states needed to have an approved APPR (teacher eval) plan.

*The new APPR uses state test scores as a part of the eval score that put entirely too much focus on testing and prep rather than authentic learning.

*The new state tests are now CCSS aligned, but students in grade 3 have only been exposed to the CCSS standards for one year...there is disparity there.

*Modules:  NYS created modules which are units for teachers to use that are scripted and aligned to CCSS. They were not created by teachers and are extremely developmentally inappropriate.

*Money: districts are spending more each year on testing materials, yet state funding is decreasing every year. While schools are cutting staff and programs, the cost of Pearson testing materials continues to increase. Districts are spending more than they received through the RTTT federal money to implement CCSS and testing.

*The links I provided (below… look for Shannon Styles) go into detail and explain each point here.

Details of Issues

1. Standardized Testing

There is too much testing going on. The Problem? One, the schools are not adequately staffed to handle that load of testing. The burden usually falls on the Guidance Counselor, whose primary purpose is to counsel troubled students, one that gets the shaft when it’s testing time. Two, teachers tend to teach based on test performance as opposed to their primary purpose, to teach children in a manner where children learn. Three, students are being tested on subjects BEFORE they get a chance to learn them. We need to pick one test (SAT 9 is recommended most) and use that in all 50 states, once a year, end of the year. That’s it. All states using the same test would make it easier to compare results nationwide.

The money you save from excessive, anti-productive testing could be used toward better ideas listed below.

2. Bullying

West Virginia supposedly has one of the best anti-bullying policies out there; unfortunately, we parents have no idea what it is, or how to combat bullying when it happens. I have seen students bullied, not only by their peers, but also by the teachers, principals, and coaches. It’s out of hand in my state, and a problem nobody wants to admit is happening. We are in denial that bullying on every level exists.

What we need to do is not only create an anti-bullying policy on a federal level, one that is a no-tolerance approach much like a sexual harassment policy in the workforce, but we need to incorporate a system for fixing the situation. We need a place to report bullying, up a chain of command, where some form of enforcement takes place to resolve the situation. We need a protocol because some people are too busy to really know what to do or how to handle a bully-victim situation, and a protocol that disciplines those who neglect their duties in this realm (because frankly, some teachers and principals just don’t care about whiny kids complaining that their life is horrible because some kid is tormenting them). It would also have to have an investigation process to avoid abuse because bullies have no problem reporting victims as bullies in order to bully their victims.

3. Attendance

I understand attendance is important for successful learning; however, too much emphasis has been placed on it that it has become anti-productive.

For example, my child broke her arm at school last September, during recess, on the playground, and no teacher could tell me how it happened. She missed school to go to the doctor, get an xray and a broken arm diagnosis, and again to get a cast from the orthopedic, and then again when she broke out into a rash around her cast, and then again when she submerged her cast in water. Those 4 days had a doctor’s excuse, and I had a teacher lecture me about how those absences were interfering with her learning, threatening education neglect my way. Then, my second kid got head lice. The school explained to me that she was not allowed back until she was nit free. She missed two days for it, one of which was with a doctor checking for nits and the day the nurse sent her home. Yes, I got rid of head lice in less than 5 days including a weekend. That’s amazing considering some parents battle head lice for a year. So when the school threatened education neglect over her missing 2 days, including the day the nurse sent her home, I was a little livid to say the least. The year before it? My child was missing her chicken pox vaccination because the doctor ran out of it. The school explained to me she was just not welcomed there until she got it. She missed 5 days waiting for an appointment to get that specific vaccine, and not only did I receive a letter threatening education neglect, the nurse who kept her home those days demanded that education neglect charges be placed upon me for those specific days. Prior to that, when my daughter was in pre-school, the principal used to threaten education neglect charges against me for her absences, and the guy who actually does that explained there is no law requiring her attendance for pre-school in the first place.

If you cannot tell, people are abusing the attendance policy. It needs to go away.

Here is the problem this insane policy poses. You force parents to visit a doctor when the child does not need medical attention in order to obtain an excuse note, many of whom cannot afford it.  You force parents into sending their kid to school contagious, creating more absences from other kids. You take away the parent’s right to do what is best for the child. Sick kids do not need to be in a socially awkward, challenging learning environment. They need to be home in bed.

A solution might be to take the emphasis off of attendance and place it upon learning. Make a lot of the material covered in school available at home. While a kid might miss school for the stomach flu, the kid can at least not miss what was taught. I’m not talking about homework; I’m talking about making the learning structure available to the home. If the classes were online to that depth, it would be a great resource for home-schooled. In this day and age of technology, the information should be accessible from anywhere outside of the classroom. Of course, the policy would have to give time after the absences to get caught up because sick kids are busy being sick to learn at home, and some kids do not have access to a computer (schools have computer labs for when they return to get caught up). If this was implemented; however, there would have to be more funding placed on education specifically for the jobs this would add to the system. It would not be a cheap solution.

4. Security

Obviously, with the onslaught of school shootings, school security could be heightened. This is a top topic among parent bloggers, and most of them seem to lean toward Gun Control while others like myself lean toward Mental Health Awareness (see below for links to blog posts). My solution toward the general security is to have a cop on duty at the schools during the school day; more than one for larger schools. This could also include a dog capable of sniffing out bombs and drugs. Bars have bouncers. Banks have security guards. Many restaurants open 24 hours has a cop keeping guard during the wee hours of the night. Where are our priorities here?

If anything, we could start training our teachers to be military cops. Honestly, most teachers I encounter could use a little military basic training on their resume. Most politicians could too. For the character alone. But in all seriousness, we could easily train our teachers some of the following: securing an area; violence readiness; things to look for regarding safety; and self-defense/Marine Corps Martial Arts (as it’s the best for someone who is out muscled, though it all leads to death so maybe tweaked for civilian use and minimal force). The Air Force (with some Marines) can provide the training easier and better than any civilian contract.

.

In addition, this thing looks handy and should be in every classroom. The Sleeve.

http://wnep.com/2014/06/11/an-iowa-teachers-invention-could-save-your-childs-life/

5. High School Curriculum and College Credit

The problem: The playing field is not even. Lower-income children do not have the same opportunities as the wealthy. They are often working while attending college, building up loans they will never be able to pay back, and facing problems like homelessness during the week of finals while people like Mitt Romney gets his tuition paid for by his parents, in cash, without loans, and doesn’t have to work or worry about financial troubles when studying for finals. In addition, when I went to high school, I took honors classes, Calculus, Physics… just so I can do it all over again in college, but this time on my dime. I was so bored in college it was unbelievable. They just repeated my high school, and in many classes, it was easier than high school.

The solution: Make a basic education free for all. In this day and age, a basic education that gets you an entry level job is a Bachelor’s Degree. It would be easier than you think to merge college into our public high schools.

The general education requirements toward a bachelor’s degree generally includes classes like English Comp 1, English Comp 2, a Literature course, a Psychology course, a math course, and two science courses. The high schools already teach these courses, and we could tweak the curriculum to cover the basic necessities for a college to honor those courses as college credit. Each high school class would have to be designed to cover two college courses in the matter of a year. Considering high school usually offers 7 classes in a day while college usually offers 4 at a time to be full time; it’s possible to prepare students with more credits than necessary. Some universities are probably more lenient about giving credit, and I suggest checking with colleges like The University of Wyoming, West Virginia University (they offer a Regents degree based on work experience), and The University of Maryland University (they offer quite a few online programs).  

Then as you get into the upper curriculum geared toward the degree, the schools can shift learning to an individualized online learning system, utilizing computer labs. This is where the government wheels and deals with a college, like University of Maryland University Online, to educate on those programs, or provide a waiver program to pay tuition to a list of colleges a student can choose from. In essence, a high school junior and senior would be taking actual college classes online.   

Students then graduate high school with a high school diploma and Bachelor’s Degree, and the only education they have to pay for is their Master’s or Doctorate if they so choose to do such a thing. If people can gain college credit through portfolios based on work experience and CLEP tests, then I think a high school can offer something more than what is being offered if they just applied themselves.

6. Classroom Arrangement

Studies are showing that kids learn better in a flexible learning environment. One where the classroom is designed more for group activities, problem solving adventures, and collaboration between students and teachers (as opposed to the Victorian classroom settings we use for the most part). I really think this is important for grade school. Middle school has too much bullying and drama for group activity, in my opinion, and should be more of an individualized, learn-at-your-own-pace environment like a lot of private schools who use Lifepacs or Paces. Basically, I think the goal in elementary education should be to get the children to work together to learn; however, middle school’s goal is to keep the children away from each other as much as possible. If you are laughing, it’s only because you know I’m right. I assure you, get middle school kids in a group, and there is less learning and more bullying.

7. Common Core

No parent seems to really be a fan of common core. I think a lot of that is that the parent has yet to be educated fully on what common core means (as I am one of them), but I also think (based on mom bloggers I have read) the schools hastily ran to it without much testing and experimentation on the subject (which is really an ethics issue). Not every kid learns the same as others. A teacher needs the freedom to teach in the manner his/her specific students learn.

“Creating modules that are a scripted nightmare for both the teacher and student is not the answer. You are ruining children. You are killing their spirit. You are making them believe they are dumb because they can’t multiply and divide on the exact day that the module says they should be multiplying and dividing. You are creating a generation of disengaged children who now feel insufficient.” Shannon Styles

Blog Posts About Mass Shootings and Fear of Children’s Safety

Crumpets and Bollocks

http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com/2014/06/im-sick-of-talking-about-guns-without.html

The Bloggess

http://thebloggess.com/2014/04/please-talk-to-your-children-mild-trigger-warning/

High Gloss and Sauce

http://www.chicagonow.com/high-gloss-and-sauce/2014/06/dear-congress-my-kids-should-feel-safe-in-school/

Mary Tyler Mom

She has multiple posts on gun violence demanding gun control

http://www.chicagonow.com/mary-tyler-mom/category/gun-violence-2/

Ups and Downs of a Yoga Mom

http://www.chicagonow.com/ups-and-downs-of-a-yoga-mom/2014/06/dear-congress-please-fix-this-gun-problem/

Life with Penis People

http://lifewithpenispeople.wordpress.com/2014/06/13/1190/

Blogger Shannon Styles is a Mother and Educator

On common core

http://mrsmomblog.com/2013/10/02/how-common-core-is-slowly-changing-my-child/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shannon-styles/white-suburban-moms-unite-a-letter-to-arne-duncan_b_4305599.html

On State Assessments

http://mrsmomblog.com/2014/03/29/why-my-children-will-not-take-state-assessments/

On Teacher Evaluations

http://mrsmomblog.com/2013/10/27/teacher-evaluations-and-your-child/

How to be Lord of the Flies: a pep talk for the next school year

With the school year about to start again, YAY, YAHOO, WHAT! WHAT!... yeah I'm a mom of 3. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, with the school year about to start again, FANTASTICAL!, I have compiled some pep talks we should give the children, especially middle school and high school aged. Profanity laced because kids remember better when there's the occasional use of profanity. It's like it flips the real talk switch.

My nephew is a teen, and I can vouch that the kids today are much bigger asshats than the ones of yesteryear who are now online telling you that you should die a thousand deaths covered in hornets and mosquitoes who all carry STDs because you didn't breastfeed for longer than a week. Yes, their kids are better at the asshattery than they are. And your kid? Well he's about to meet their kid. Without any adult supervision. Lord of the Flies.

Face it. Teachers and administration today really don't give a shit about bullying, they are educators, not babysitters, and some of them are the biggest bullies in the school. Your kid is about to dive into a world of savage children and adults, again, without your protection, and attempt to survive another school year in hopes to make it without a drug addiction or serving jail time. Fuck learning. Just get through the day.

It's really sad it has come to this, you know, because we adults created the system this way. No matter how many mom bloggers and credible journalists write about bullying, no matter how many students write notes about how they were bullied and it led them to shooting up the school killing innocent children, no matter how many suicides take place as a result of bullying, we adults are so cold-hearted to turn our heads away from that because there are more important issues at stake, like gun control.

So I've put together a little social survival guide pep talk... 

1.  The one that inspired this post...

This is probably the most important rule to follow. Not only does it protect you from catching the butthurt, but it also helps you in the popularity realm because this is alpha male behavior. Kids don't follow followers. They follow the person who just doesn't give a shit. The resiliency to any form of rejection is a key component to surviving high school. You should master this skill to a point where you can ask a member of the opposite sex out, and they say no, and you are like, "whatever" and then you ask out their friend.

The important thing to remember is unless you are an asshole, people's feelings tend to be more of a product of their own internal struggle more so than any external reason. In other words, if you are a good kid, and a kid doesn't like you, most likely the other kid just has an issue and it has nothing to do with you. Self hate is a mysterious, strange phenomenon, and that's usually what you are up against when it comes to haters.

2.

I know when you are stuck in a savage world surrounded by less-than-human beast-like behavior, your first instinct, as a savage animal in the wild kingdom, is to either beat the shit out of someone, or maybe fight back with weapons. Don't do it. Contrary to what the video games and gangsta rap has to say on the subject, violence is not cool. If you like violence, like have a natural inclination to kicking ass, then may I suggest keeping your nose clean and when you become of age, join the Marine Corps because no civilian is ever as badass as a Marine. Period. Otherwise, the popular majority really views violent people as monsters. If you have been viewed as such, it is not you who they view as that, but the violence you portray. Many times we turn to violent behavior in an attempt to scare people into being decent, and it doesn't work that way.

I know this because I used to get into fights. I used fear as a source to control other kids around me. And I did this because I was sick of being bullied. It never worked as well as love and joy. Instead of punching someone in the face, or dropping something heavy on their foot "by accident," try making others laugh with any kind of dumbfuckery that isn't mean. You'll make more friends that way and finish the day feeling better about yourself. If they don't like you, refer to rule number 1. Some people just are never going to be decent.

3.

Ok, there are some exceptions to this rule. Being a bigger asshole to the asshole is sometimes entertaining, as long as you don't go overboard and it's all in the name of fun. The important thing is, don't be mean to nice people. There's no reason for it. Your unkind words should never be an offense. Never throw the first insult.

What you stand for should speak for itself. If you stand for good things, you will be untouchable in the end. If you stand up for the nice guy, no teacher can fuck with you for that. If you stand up for the asshole, you are in a position where you need asshole things like lies, deceit, and more assholes to cover your ass. If you stubbornly stand for things like the truth, kindness, patience, compassion, love... You will grow as a person and bloom like a flower. If you stand for the opposite, you will probably achieve a short moment of glory before you fall, hard, and it will hurt.

Honestly, do you really want to have something like someone's suicide on your conscience? I mean, what kind of person would you be to know that someone you were an ass to at school committed suicide a few days later claiming in their note it was because they couldn't stand the bullying anymore? Don't be a dick to people unless the situation warrants it.

4.

When you got someone consistently fucking with you on a regular basis, you need an army of people who make you laugh, lift you up, and just be your friend. It's a human wolf-like phenomenon, but I guarantee you, most social bullying takes place in the form of a pack against a loner. The only way through it without changing schools is to shift that balance of power. It's the same way walking in the city late at night. They tell you to walk with people and not alone because most bad guys prey on someone walking by themselves, especially if they are female (assuming they see the female as the weaker gender, which it's not). That's the thing, wolves prey in packs on the weak and injured, and bullies are the same way. The easiest way to protect yourself is to find your tribe.

The tribe is the place where they make you feel better about yourself, where you are comfortable being who you are or comfortable not knowing who you are yet. Don't be so quick to jump into defining your identity. That happens naturally on its own over a series of decades, and you'll never totally figure out where you belong in the sense of how you define yourself and how you want others to perceive you. But the tribe isn't about that. It's about a group of friends just hanging out, having fun, and protecting each other on a social level. It's the people who have no problem with your differences while embracing the similarities.

Many kids find their tribe by joining some extra-curricular activity. Sports teams generally stand up for each other, and you can even find some good friends joining the yearbook team. If you like acting, you will find other people who like acting by joining the drama club. The ROTC is probably the best place to find a lump-all-interest tribe because the military is designed to operate as a team despite how different you are from each other. I noticed with the loners, their biggest obstacle is their fear to try to find friends.

When I was in high school, I had a bunch of tribes by the time I hit my junior year. I had my first tribe I made friends with in 9th grade. They were just a group of misfit outcasts like myself, all very different, where our only common trait we shared was that we didn't belong in any clique and we were too nice. Then I made friends with the popular nerd. She was a 4.0 student (all through college even) who had a little wild side about her. Then I made friends with a popular girl in general, through choir, which I didn't sing but my mom taught choir. There I made some popular acquaintances who have become good friends throughout the years into adulthood. Then I found a clique I belonged. The g-funks. They loved me because I had money, and a car, and I was good at talking the police out of arresting anyone, and I loved them because I had a posse of ass kicking protection bouncers. I also loved hip-hop, so that worked out well. Of course, my parents hated it. By the time my senior year rolled around, I was friends with everyone who wasn't a cheerleader or a jock, the group I hated the most. My biggest bullies. The irony? I hit college and my tribe there was the cheerleaders and football players. I say this because it doesn't matter if it's a reflection of who you are, or your identity, but just a group of people you get along with.

You don't have to do everything they do. When I hung out with the g-funks, they smoked pot a lot, and drank a lot of booze. I never got drunk with them. I didn't smoke pot with them. They didn't care.

5.

I know it's cliche, but my reasons for this are not. I'm here to tell you that a good grade is not a sign of intelligence. It in no way reflects on whether or not you learned anything, or are ready for college, or could master any kind of job. It doesn't really matter if you have good grades to get into college. Why then would someone want good grades?

The biggest issue in high school is having the faculty back you up over the next kid, especially when it comes to getting in trouble. You will have much more freedom as the teacher's pet than as anything else. And the Principal? In every school system in the US, the principal is bombarded with bull shit from the board of education, and the most important thing to that principal is how well the school looks on paper. It is the kids with the high GPA, good attendance record, and who score high on standardized tests that make that principal. They know it. Most good principals will kiss your ass if you have a good GPA, a great attendance record, and score high on standardized tests. 

I did this in high school. I took Honor's Classes, and had a great attendance, and my GPA averaged 3.5. My mom taught at the school, so that helped, but not all the teachers liked me. The principal did. That mattered. A friend was expelled for missing school, and I had that turned over by simply telling the principal to reinstate her. I used to leave class in the middle of a lecture to go next door to get a diet coke, or to steal donuts and coffee from the teacher's lounge. Nobody flinched. I remember one time this guy was following my sister around calling her a "n-bomb (he used the real word) loving whore." I got in his face, threatened to kick his ass, using the fuck word every other word, and my principal tapped my shoulder. This guy's face turned whiter than his normal crackerness when that principal showed up, and the principal asked, "Is this guy bothering you?" I replied, "Nothing I can't handle myself, sir." He replied, "Could you handle it elsewhere? because the teachers in the lounge can hear you, and your language is bothering them." I replied, "I think we just made my point clear."

The easiest way to get good grades is to show up to class on time and try (that means stay awake, actively take notes, and study a little). Teachers will give you better grades for showing effort and learning nothing than knowing the subject and showing no effort. Period. It's the world we live in. If you know the subject, you have to pretend to know less than the teacher or you will get a teacher who just doesn't like you.

But I promise you, good grades kick ass. Ever notice every story about a school-aged kid in the media, they tell you whether or not the kid got good grades? It mattered to these people. Trayvon Martin was shot by a neighborhood watch sociopath, and the question many people asked in order to decide who was innocent and guilty was, "What was Trayvon's GPA?" Stupid isn't it? Yes it is. But it's the way of things, so that stupid GPA is important. You want that credibility.

One of my greatest accomplishments in high school was that day I realized my Principal was comfortable enough to say the word "Damn" to me, while mocking a clique I never really appreciated (the hippies, they could be downright mean for a group of pot-smoking peace-loving crunchy people). That's the kind of relationship you want with the guy in charge.


Just remember these 5 things, and high school will not be a breeze. It will not be a snap of the fingers. But it will be bearable, conquerable, and you will survive it without jail time. And hopefully, through the miracles of Jesus, this generation of kids with a worse education than what my generation received, with less morals than were on the streets of my childhood, with more medication than before the FDIC became more lenient, and with more helicopter parenting of my time will grow up and fix all the bull shit my parents generation started and my generation provoked. In other words, you think high school is bad now? Wait until your kids are in high school.

Calling All Parent Bloggers or anyone with an opinion really...

I'm an idiot suffering from Mom Syndrome. Since the onslaught of reproduction, I transpose numbers, and even worse, have poor editing skills. For instance, I leave out important words completely, and I can read it over and over again where my brain reads the omitted word so I don't notice the word is omitted. So when I made a poster for this post that said June 23 instead of July 23, I didn't notice at all and was wondering why nobody was submitting anything. Well now I know. I hope you read this is UPDATED.

I have a project idea I'd like to do. Hear me out please... I need help for it.

What I'd like are blog posts. You can link to them if you already wrote one, or you can publish it on your blog and link to it, or you can just submit something in text and I'll find a place to post it. What I'm looking for?

Education Reform.

Some ideas to focus on:

What would you do to improve the public education system we have in place?

How would you solve some of the major problems that plague us in the public education system?

What topics regarding education are important to you as a parent?

How would you revise the curriculum to improve on what our children NEED to learn? What real life classes do you wish they taught? How would you assess students learning?

I'm going to take a compilation of the posts, and...

1. Give it to a teacher who will be meeting with the first lady and a representative of every state to discuss education in the United States.

2. Give it to various representatives of my state, West Virginia, as well as providing resources for others to submit to their states.

3. Pimp it out to gain awareness and open the platform for discussion about a topic many people seem to want to avoid when it competes against gun control and gay marriage.

IF I get a large enough response, I may provide it as an e-book or a paperback, but I will sell it at cost. This is a non-profit endeavor. I'm just throwing this in there that submitting to this gives me access to your words, copyright stuff, to publish somewhere with full credit to you... possibly in the future because education is that important. You still own the copyright, but I just want permission to re-publish your works in pursuit of improving upon our education system and getting your voice heard.

I'll also link to your blog whenever relevant, and hold your blog at a higher priority in my head in the future when it comes to social media shares and blog reading. This is not only a great opportunity to get your voice about education heard, but also it's a great opportunity for free publicity of your blog.

Deadline: July 23, 2014 

Submission process: 

Email links, or the document itself, to

untouchable.cant.touch.this@gmail.com
Subject: Education Reform

Throw a comment here letting me know you emailed it, in case it goes to spam or social media or something weird and I miss it. I am also a facebook fanatic, so you can also always message the page (click the F on the right, or at the bottom).


THANK YOU! :)