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I have absolutely no interest in...

I have absolutely no interest in

Pop culture madness
that's for people who have conversations in emoticons

The Tea Party
because they don't put their pinkies up in the air and they slurp too much

Foreign affairs
It's like a soap opera starring Barrack Obama

The NRA
Sorry but taking our country over by force is called mutiny, assholes, and you wouldn't have to if you knew how to vote.

What Kanye West said
He's a crackhead, given a wealthy, well-dressed one, but still a crackhead

The NBA, MLB, NHL, C-Span
the daytime boring snoring soporific narcoleptic chronic fatigue so you can get your rest medicine

The Walking Dead
Because zombies smell bad and the zombie apocalypse just isn't going to happen people, get over it.

Dr. Who
Exactly, Dr. Who?

American Idol
Like winning that is going to land you a career where they don't force you to sing shitty music and they don't take all your money

Atheists' opinions on God
Um, if you don't believe in Him, quit telling me who He is and what He's about

Star Trek
Captain Kirk is a whore, and now you've seen all the episodes

Fighting Obesity
Because it's not stopping obesity but instead, turning skinny people into health conscious bullies

Cleaning my house
so it can be messy again

Taking my kids to school
because getting kids ready, getting kids out the door, the traffic, the teachers, all the rules like wearing pants... I mean I do it anyway to avoid prison time and to get a break, but I really don't want to.

Cooking Dinner
It's not like they save any of it for me, and then guess who gets to clean the mess?

Getting my oil changed
They always break something when they do, and then I'm carless for more than just that hour it took them to break it.

Killing the bug
I don't care if it is scary looking and ratch, it's a life and murder is wrong, and guess who cleans up that mess?

Folding my husband's underwear
I'm just not about that life anymore

Appearing perfect
Sorry but I really don't care what fake people think.

June Cleaver
She secretly hired a team of housemaids to do all her work for her and then claimed the glory for herself. Bitch.

Quitting my bad habits
That sounds like hard work

Your father
because I don't like my own sloppy seconds

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You can also find me under these rocks...