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Crumpets and Bollocks: How I Got Rid of Lice in less than a Week

How I Got Rid of Lice in less than a Week

Social Grooming
Warning: This post may cause side effects such as itchy head, itchy body, and possibly tears.

I got the dreaded phone call from the school nurse. "Your daughter has lice." My heart dropped. Why couldn't she have gotten into a fist fight and stole the Secretary's stash of cocaine instead? Good news, the other daughter does not. Well, ok, for now you mean.

Now before I get into this subject, if you are reading this post, it's possible you are battling lice yourself. I want to point out now... Monkeys pick bugs off each other. It's a thing they do to groom each other, and social grooming strengthens bonds. Look at it as an opportunity to strengthen the bond between you and your kid.

I haven't dealt with lice before as a parent. I had it once as a child. Gymnastics. But, I didn't have to treat my house or little people back then. I do now. I don't know what I'm doing.

My kid having head lice is a great opportunity to work on my not-freaking-out face.
I've heard horror stories from other parents, how the ex didn't treat his house properly and kept giving their kid lice for a good year. How they fork out half a grand into lice treatment options, and half a grand was the cheapest poor man's route. How they slave over their house endlessly to keep up with the lice with daily treatments of bedding, carpet, curtains (yes, my friend treated her curtains daily and her kid kept getting lice from the ex who wouldn't treat his every day). I am to the point where I believe all these moms are lying.

Yes they are lying. Their memory is off. Kind of like moms of teens who pretend when their kids were toddlers that their house was NEVER a mess and dinner was made from scratch every night. Or when moms say, "I don't remember any of the pain from childbirth" I don't think for one minute my friend took down every curtain and dried it in the dryer for 20 plus minutes and hung them back up EVERY DAY. I don't for one minute think she treated her sofa, gave her kid a bath, picked out lice and nits, and then had her kid sit on the treated sofa and not budge until she treated the rest of her entire house from curtain to pillow to carpet EVERY DAY. I don't for one minute think my sister actually bagged every article of clothing in her house of 5 when her clean laundry generally smells like a dingy sewer rat from sitting in the wash for a few days (we all do it, and if you add more soap, squirt 10 rounds of the Resolve that has two formulas-oxygen and enzymes, and then add a cap full of the scent crystals, a little Clorox 2, you will get rid of MOST of the smell without having to dry first and then rewash). I don't for one minute think my friends who dump a lot of their responsibilities daily on me actually did any of this. These are people who burn toast. I burn toast, but that's beside the point.

So now I'm at, what do I really have to do? The CDC says NOT MUCH. Really? Why are they in direct contradiction with all the "mom experts?" I mean according to my friends, the CDC should be infested with lice. But really, this is the best information I found on the subject.

"Treat the infested person(s): Requires using an Over-the-counter (OTC) or prescription medication. Follow these treatment steps:
  1. Before applying treatment, it may be helpful to remove clothing that can become wet or stained during treatment.
  2. Apply lice medicine, also called pediculicide, according to the instructions contained in the box or printed on the label. If the infested person has very long hair (longer than shoulder length), it may be necessary to use a second bottle. Pay special attention to instructions on the label or in the box regarding how long the medication should be left on the hair and how it should be washed out.
    WARNING:
    Do not use a combination shampoo/conditioner, or conditioner before using lice medicine. Do not re–wash the hair for 1–2 days after the lice medicine is removed.
  3. Have the infested person put on clean clothing after treatment.
  4. If a few live lice are still found 8–12 hours after treatment, but are moving more slowly than before, do not retreat. The medicine may take longer to kill all the lice. Comb dead and any remaining live lice out of the hair using a fine–toothed nit comb.
  5. If, after 8–12 hours of treatment, no dead lice are found and lice seem as active as before, the medicine may not be working. Do not retreat until speaking with your health care provider; a different pediculicide may be necessary. If your health care provider recommends a different pediculicide, carefully follow the treatment instructions contained in the box or printed on the label.
  6. Nit (head lice egg) combs, often found in lice medicine packages, should be used to comb nits and lice from the hair shaft. Many flea combs made for cats and dogs are also effective.
  7. After each treatment, checking the hair and combing with a nit comb to remove nits and lice every 2–3 days may decrease the chance of self–reinfestation. Continue to check for 2–3 weeks to be sure all lice and nits are gone. Nit removal is not needed when treating with spinosad topical suspension.
  8. Retreatment is meant to kill any surviving hatched lice before they produce new eggs. For some drugs, retreatment is recommended routinely about a week after the first treatment (7–9 days, depending on the drug) and for others only if crawling lice are seen during this period. Retreatment with lindane shampoo is not recommended.


Supplemental Measures: Head lice do not survive long if they fall off a person and cannot feed. You don't need to spend a lot of time or money on housecleaning activities. Follow these steps to help avoid re–infestation by lice that have recently fallen off the hair or crawled onto clothing or furniture.
  1. Machine wash and dry clothing, bed linens, and other items that the infested person wore or used during the 2 days before treatment using the hot water (130°F) laundry cycle and the high heat drying cycle. Clothing and items that are not washable can be dry–cleaned
    OR
    sealed in a plastic bag and stored for 2 weeks.
  2. Soak combs and brushes in hot water (at least 130°F) for 5–10 minutes.
  3. Vacuum the floor and furniture, particularly where the infested person sat or lay. However, the risk of getting infested by a louse that has fallen onto a rug or carpet or furniture is very small. Head lice survive less than 1–2 days if they fall off a person and cannot feed; nits cannot hatch and usually die within a week if they are not kept at the same temperature as that found close to the human scalp. Spending much time and money on housecleaning activities is not necessary to avoid reinfestation by lice or nits that may have fallen off the head or crawled onto furniture or clothing.
  4. Do not use fumigant sprays; they can be toxic if inhaled or absorbed through the skin."
From http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/lice/head/treatment.html



My original game plan was an elaborate scheme that included bagging everything, organizing the house, doing all the laundry, etc. Basically, spring clean. Are you laughing at that? Why are you laughing at that? I'm not the first woman to think I could actually pull off taking over the world.

Of course, I ended up taking the lazy mom approach. I have loads and loads and loads of clean/dirty laundry (the clean clothes kids and husband threw on the floor from either a basket or drawer) including every single piece of baby clothes my kids grew out of. Every time I attempt to wash, organize and give away, I get as far as wash and organize before someone decides to dump everything and do a ritualistic dance on top of it sprinkling juice blessing the clothes with their goo. I'm not bagging it. It's semi-organized in bins nobody rolls around in anymore. So far. Knock on wood. I did for a day think I was going to organize and bag and actually wash all that. Reality smacked me back to its world and I'm not. I'd rather watch a Caillou marathon without internet connection.

What I ended up doing...

1. Who has it?
2. Treat the kid who has it and spray the others down with Lice Shield. No I didn't treat the whole family. The chemicals are way harsh. Tea Tree Oil will also work in lieu of Lice Shield.
3. Throw away the kids' bed pillows and replace with new pillows covered in vinyl
4. Spray mattresses down with lice killer and cover with vinyl
5. Bag stuffed animals that weren't a favorite and all the hats.
6. Take favorite stuffed animals and stick in the dryer for 25 minutes.
7. Wash bedding in hot water, and all the blankies.
8. Wash all the coats in hot water.
9. Vacuum the sofa with attachment (it's fake leather) and vacuum the house.
10. Treat hair brushes (spray them with alcohol, the kind at the pharmacy not the liquor store, and I used 70 proof because it came in a spray bottle, it will eat the paint)

Then to maintain, I did the following with lice chasing...

Treating the Kid with Lice


I chose Rid over Nix because Rid had the Bayer stamp on it and my grandfather collects retirement from Bayer, so what's good enough for my grandfather is good enough for my kids. I ended up Googling the stuff after I bought it, and I'm glad I went with that. Nix (Permethrin) is a synthetic version of Rid (pyrethrin) according to the CDC. I don't think it did anything, as some sources say lice are becoming immune to our treatments. I think I cleared her of lice just by combing it out alone. So I'm going to tell you how I combed her hair.

Before the Rid treatment, I chopped off some her hair. I didn't care she has a bad hair cut. I know it's easier to comb through hair that has thicker ends than split ends or the really fine ends her hair had. I still kept her hair below shoulder length, a good pony tail length because she would need a pony tail for school.

After I washed off the Rid treatment, I brushed her hair with her brush to get rid of most tangles. Then I used the comb. I made her sit in the bath tub facing the wall so that her head was sticking out the side for me. I bent over and started with the bottom of her head. I took about a centimeter chunk of hair and combed through it once. With the faucet running on low, I rinsed it. Combed a second time. Rinsed it. Combed a third time really getting close to the scalp, and rinsed it. I put that hair down and grabbed another small chunk. I repeated. The three times deal. When I put that hair down, separating combed from uncombed, I combed through the clean hair again. Sometimes 5 or 6 times. Sometimes rinsing in between sometimes not.

Then I grabbed another chunk of hair. Did the 3 stroke deal. Stuck it down with the clean hair, and combed that 5 or 6 times. We did this until I did her whole head. It took a couple hours. It was not comfortable for her, but she didn't cry. I tried to let her move around a little and adjust herself to keep the blood flowing. After I got all of her hair done, I combed through it like I would brush her hair a few times, randomly rinsing my comb.

In addition to that, I still used my visual senses. If I saw anything like an egg or live lice, I did my best to remove it. It wasn't easy either for me. I have a bad back, and I pulled all my butt muscles. Then I did this a second time on pulled butt muscles. Look at it this way, this is also a blog post on how to get buns of steel.

I didn't give her a bath for 2 days after that because they say you shouldn't wash their hair for a couple days after treating it.

Well in 2 days, one of the eggs hatched and I saw baby lice. So we did the whole thing again without any treatment, just the combing. Just as thorough. Centimeter by centimeter, I combed through her hair. This time I used regular shampoo and conditioner (Herbal Essence, the original greenish yellowish kind). I swear to you the Herbal Essence mattered because it's one of the best clarifying shampoos on the market, and about the only thing that will strip your hair of the wax build up from the other products. I spent a little more time on the area I saw baby lice, and this time, instead of starting from the back of her head, I started from the front top of her head.

Then two days later, I gave her a shower, and I combed through her hair after the shower but like I would brush it. I didn't do any hair separating. Just a quick 5 minute comb over (after brushing out tangles of course).

That's all I did to treat her lice specifically.

READ THIS ABOUT THE USAGE OF CHEMICAL TREATMENTS!


My favorite part about this whole experience is how much the doctor did not know. She thought that Rid and Nix kills the eggs. Nope. Not according to their box, and not according to the CDC website. Does anyone fucking read these things? We women make fun of men for not reading the instructions, but most of you don't either. You have to be a true nerd like me to read instructions and warnings. It's technically the terms and conditions of that product, so I guess I can see why people don't read it. Including doctors.

Apparently, the prescription stuff is NOT easier on their heads like other blogger moms I have read on the subject said. One is highly flammable. You know that monster on Monster High who's head catches on fire? Yeah. We're not trying to dress up like him for Halloween. I'm not even sure if I can safely spray my kid with the fire extinguisher, which would so be my first instinct if her head spontaneously combusted into flames. You know what old school out in the country parents do? Yes my doctor gets these people all the time coming in with kids who'd give you a buzz to breath near...  Kerosene. That's also highly flammable. I guess the number one method of killing lice is to kill it with fire. They should form a mob with pitchforks every lice outbreak like the good ole days.

The other problem with prescriptions is they are all so new, most insurance companies don't cover them, and they cost over a hundred in cash. I would say that is only worth it if I can't get rid of the lice after a month.

Assuming moms of kids with lice are reading this, please read this part... The crap you put on your kids' heads to kill the lice, like Rid, is supposed to stay on the head a bit for a couple weeks (even when you wash, like it doesn't come off easily). The idea is it kills the live lice on the head, and when the eggs hatch and those lice bite your kid's head, it kills them then. This is important because if you treat with two different chemical treatments before the package says its safe to do, you risk side effects on your kid. According to their doctor, that stuff does absorb into the brain. Also, hair can fall out. 

I think it's safe to say the best part of the treatment is the combing, and that's what you should focus on the most. You basically have to remove every bug yourself, manually.

The school's No Nit Policy

And here you thought that was all there was to it.

In my neck of the woods, the schools have a no nit policy. As long as you have nits, your kid can't come to school. I wish they had an "inform the parents of a lice outbreak" policy, but sadly they don't. The annoying thing besides the not informing parents to use lice shield, they will lecture you and threaten education neglect when your kid misses over nits. So that means that during a lice outbreak, parents are breaking the no-nit policy to avoid jail time.

The first thing you should do is consider the Lice Shield or Tea Tree Oil to help repel lice on the kids who go to school during a lice outbreak. I prefer something I can spray on their head as opposed to something in the shampoo. But if you want to go all out, Lice Shield has a shampoo, plus they say any shampoo that smells like mint or coconut is a good one. Also, try to keep their hair pulled back in a pony tail or braid. If your kid has short hair, consider finding someone who does corn rows. I would. I am just saying. My kids appear white, it would look odd, but better to look like a wannabe for a minute than to get head lice. Tying a rag or scarf around their head is also good.

The second thing I did was I made my lice infested child miss school until the lice was gone. I would not have had that luxury had I not gotten rid of lice in less than a week. She really only missed 3 days of school. She had an excuse note, a doctor's excuse, and the nurse making her leave early one of the days. The school didn't seem to care about that because months later, they threatened education neglect for those absences. So I wrote another note explaining that the only reason my kids missed so far this year is due to the school's neglect to provide a safe environment to the kids, and there is never a good reason to threaten education neglect when public health is being considered. I haven't heard back from that office since. It's not that hard to outsmart the education system with basic logic. Just make sure you do or they will never stop being ignorant.

The third thing is the classrooms. I talked to the janitor at my kids' school. She is one of the nicest people employed at that school, so it wasn't hard to do. She informed me that she doesn't clean the classrooms. The teachers do. They can clean it any way they want to, including not cleaning it. Some use Clorox Clean Up Wipes, and others use the stuff the school supplies which kills so much more in the germ world than Clorox Clean Up Wipes. If you are using Clorox Clean Up Wipes, ew. Try switching to the kind they sell to hospitals and day cares. But when it comes to the classroom, make sure the teachers are using real pesticides to kill lice, bacteria and viruses. If all else fails, take a can of Lysol with you (the best pesticide in the woman's section of the store), and just start spraying random things like the door knob (wet it enough so it's wet for 10 minutes). Don't knock it. When your kid catches lice, norovirus, or the flu, you pay. Not the teacher. She basks in the glory of a smaller classroom while you are throwing up crapping yourself at every heave trying to get a blanky for your fevered child. Yeah, now the Lysol idea doesn't sound so crazy does it? Especially right before Christmas Break when everyone gets sick like it was conspired. It takes a village to kill a virus.

BTW, my head won't stop itching.

And now you are thinking, "Shit. I want to believe this crazy woman and her blog, but what if she's wrong and it gets worse because I didn't lose my mind trying to clean everything?" Well that's a big what if that you are going to have despite what you do. The important thing is that you do something. Be proactive. Learn about how lice operate. How long they survive without a host. How the eggs hatch. And then just use some logic. It's almost like we have this mother's intuition that will tell you things like, "I got a feeling there are lice eggs in this corner of this room I want to spay it with alcohol and vacuum."

And to note, we had lice hit us at the beginning of December 2013. I waited until April 2014 to write about it to make sure we really did get rid of it that easy. The school was worse than the lice.


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Crumpets and Bollocks: How I Got Rid of Lice in less than a Week

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

How I Got Rid of Lice in less than a Week

Social Grooming
Warning: This post may cause side effects such as itchy head, itchy body, and possibly tears.

I got the dreaded phone call from the school nurse. "Your daughter has lice." My heart dropped. Why couldn't she have gotten into a fist fight and stole the Secretary's stash of cocaine instead? Good news, the other daughter does not. Well, ok, for now you mean.

Now before I get into this subject, if you are reading this post, it's possible you are battling lice yourself. I want to point out now... Monkeys pick bugs off each other. It's a thing they do to groom each other, and social grooming strengthens bonds. Look at it as an opportunity to strengthen the bond between you and your kid.

I haven't dealt with lice before as a parent. I had it once as a child. Gymnastics. But, I didn't have to treat my house or little people back then. I do now. I don't know what I'm doing.

My kid having head lice is a great opportunity to work on my not-freaking-out face.
I've heard horror stories from other parents, how the ex didn't treat his house properly and kept giving their kid lice for a good year. How they fork out half a grand into lice treatment options, and half a grand was the cheapest poor man's route. How they slave over their house endlessly to keep up with the lice with daily treatments of bedding, carpet, curtains (yes, my friend treated her curtains daily and her kid kept getting lice from the ex who wouldn't treat his every day). I am to the point where I believe all these moms are lying.

Yes they are lying. Their memory is off. Kind of like moms of teens who pretend when their kids were toddlers that their house was NEVER a mess and dinner was made from scratch every night. Or when moms say, "I don't remember any of the pain from childbirth" I don't think for one minute my friend took down every curtain and dried it in the dryer for 20 plus minutes and hung them back up EVERY DAY. I don't for one minute think she treated her sofa, gave her kid a bath, picked out lice and nits, and then had her kid sit on the treated sofa and not budge until she treated the rest of her entire house from curtain to pillow to carpet EVERY DAY. I don't for one minute think my sister actually bagged every article of clothing in her house of 5 when her clean laundry generally smells like a dingy sewer rat from sitting in the wash for a few days (we all do it, and if you add more soap, squirt 10 rounds of the Resolve that has two formulas-oxygen and enzymes, and then add a cap full of the scent crystals, a little Clorox 2, you will get rid of MOST of the smell without having to dry first and then rewash). I don't for one minute think my friends who dump a lot of their responsibilities daily on me actually did any of this. These are people who burn toast. I burn toast, but that's beside the point.

So now I'm at, what do I really have to do? The CDC says NOT MUCH. Really? Why are they in direct contradiction with all the "mom experts?" I mean according to my friends, the CDC should be infested with lice. But really, this is the best information I found on the subject.

"Treat the infested person(s): Requires using an Over-the-counter (OTC) or prescription medication. Follow these treatment steps:
  1. Before applying treatment, it may be helpful to remove clothing that can become wet or stained during treatment.
  2. Apply lice medicine, also called pediculicide, according to the instructions contained in the box or printed on the label. If the infested person has very long hair (longer than shoulder length), it may be necessary to use a second bottle. Pay special attention to instructions on the label or in the box regarding how long the medication should be left on the hair and how it should be washed out.
    WARNING:
    Do not use a combination shampoo/conditioner, or conditioner before using lice medicine. Do not re–wash the hair for 1–2 days after the lice medicine is removed.
  3. Have the infested person put on clean clothing after treatment.
  4. If a few live lice are still found 8–12 hours after treatment, but are moving more slowly than before, do not retreat. The medicine may take longer to kill all the lice. Comb dead and any remaining live lice out of the hair using a fine–toothed nit comb.
  5. If, after 8–12 hours of treatment, no dead lice are found and lice seem as active as before, the medicine may not be working. Do not retreat until speaking with your health care provider; a different pediculicide may be necessary. If your health care provider recommends a different pediculicide, carefully follow the treatment instructions contained in the box or printed on the label.
  6. Nit (head lice egg) combs, often found in lice medicine packages, should be used to comb nits and lice from the hair shaft. Many flea combs made for cats and dogs are also effective.
  7. After each treatment, checking the hair and combing with a nit comb to remove nits and lice every 2–3 days may decrease the chance of self–reinfestation. Continue to check for 2–3 weeks to be sure all lice and nits are gone. Nit removal is not needed when treating with spinosad topical suspension.
  8. Retreatment is meant to kill any surviving hatched lice before they produce new eggs. For some drugs, retreatment is recommended routinely about a week after the first treatment (7–9 days, depending on the drug) and for others only if crawling lice are seen during this period. Retreatment with lindane shampoo is not recommended.


Supplemental Measures: Head lice do not survive long if they fall off a person and cannot feed. You don't need to spend a lot of time or money on housecleaning activities. Follow these steps to help avoid re–infestation by lice that have recently fallen off the hair or crawled onto clothing or furniture.
  1. Machine wash and dry clothing, bed linens, and other items that the infested person wore or used during the 2 days before treatment using the hot water (130°F) laundry cycle and the high heat drying cycle. Clothing and items that are not washable can be dry–cleaned
    OR
    sealed in a plastic bag and stored for 2 weeks.
  2. Soak combs and brushes in hot water (at least 130°F) for 5–10 minutes.
  3. Vacuum the floor and furniture, particularly where the infested person sat or lay. However, the risk of getting infested by a louse that has fallen onto a rug or carpet or furniture is very small. Head lice survive less than 1–2 days if they fall off a person and cannot feed; nits cannot hatch and usually die within a week if they are not kept at the same temperature as that found close to the human scalp. Spending much time and money on housecleaning activities is not necessary to avoid reinfestation by lice or nits that may have fallen off the head or crawled onto furniture or clothing.
  4. Do not use fumigant sprays; they can be toxic if inhaled or absorbed through the skin."
From http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/lice/head/treatment.html



My original game plan was an elaborate scheme that included bagging everything, organizing the house, doing all the laundry, etc. Basically, spring clean. Are you laughing at that? Why are you laughing at that? I'm not the first woman to think I could actually pull off taking over the world.

Of course, I ended up taking the lazy mom approach. I have loads and loads and loads of clean/dirty laundry (the clean clothes kids and husband threw on the floor from either a basket or drawer) including every single piece of baby clothes my kids grew out of. Every time I attempt to wash, organize and give away, I get as far as wash and organize before someone decides to dump everything and do a ritualistic dance on top of it sprinkling juice blessing the clothes with their goo. I'm not bagging it. It's semi-organized in bins nobody rolls around in anymore. So far. Knock on wood. I did for a day think I was going to organize and bag and actually wash all that. Reality smacked me back to its world and I'm not. I'd rather watch a Caillou marathon without internet connection.

What I ended up doing...

1. Who has it?
2. Treat the kid who has it and spray the others down with Lice Shield. No I didn't treat the whole family. The chemicals are way harsh. Tea Tree Oil will also work in lieu of Lice Shield.
3. Throw away the kids' bed pillows and replace with new pillows covered in vinyl
4. Spray mattresses down with lice killer and cover with vinyl
5. Bag stuffed animals that weren't a favorite and all the hats.
6. Take favorite stuffed animals and stick in the dryer for 25 minutes.
7. Wash bedding in hot water, and all the blankies.
8. Wash all the coats in hot water.
9. Vacuum the sofa with attachment (it's fake leather) and vacuum the house.
10. Treat hair brushes (spray them with alcohol, the kind at the pharmacy not the liquor store, and I used 70 proof because it came in a spray bottle, it will eat the paint)

Then to maintain, I did the following with lice chasing...
  • Kept one brush for only the kid with lice, and any brush I used on any kid, I'd immediately spray with alcohol, stick in the bathroom sink to dry, and I washed my hands. Beware, alcohol will eat the paint off a brush.
  • Anytime I saw a kid rolling around on the floor, I vacuumed
  • I stuck blankies, bedding, and coats in the dryer for 20 minutes every day until I saw a lice free nit free head. 
  • I kept hair in ponytails, and occasionally sprayed lice shield on the other kids
  • I checked heads every other day and had the husband check mine
  • Kids were told to inform me any time their head itched
  • I got the kid with lice a rubber fish shower/swim cap to wear a lot. I treated it with alcohol in between the times she wore it. My sister used a do-rag on her kid's head. The thin, black stretchy ones specifically designed for this stay on much better than random scarves. My Walmart used to keep them in the African Hair section, and they've since stopped selling them. If you are white and you already knew where to find that, you probably aren't as white as you think you are, I'd check with Maury. 

Treating the Kid with Lice


I chose Rid over Nix because Rid had the Bayer stamp on it and my grandfather collects retirement from Bayer, so what's good enough for my grandfather is good enough for my kids. I ended up Googling the stuff after I bought it, and I'm glad I went with that. Nix (Permethrin) is a synthetic version of Rid (pyrethrin) according to the CDC. I don't think it did anything, as some sources say lice are becoming immune to our treatments. I think I cleared her of lice just by combing it out alone. So I'm going to tell you how I combed her hair.

Before the Rid treatment, I chopped off some her hair. I didn't care she has a bad hair cut. I know it's easier to comb through hair that has thicker ends than split ends or the really fine ends her hair had. I still kept her hair below shoulder length, a good pony tail length because she would need a pony tail for school.

After I washed off the Rid treatment, I brushed her hair with her brush to get rid of most tangles. Then I used the comb. I made her sit in the bath tub facing the wall so that her head was sticking out the side for me. I bent over and started with the bottom of her head. I took about a centimeter chunk of hair and combed through it once. With the faucet running on low, I rinsed it. Combed a second time. Rinsed it. Combed a third time really getting close to the scalp, and rinsed it. I put that hair down and grabbed another small chunk. I repeated. The three times deal. When I put that hair down, separating combed from uncombed, I combed through the clean hair again. Sometimes 5 or 6 times. Sometimes rinsing in between sometimes not.

Then I grabbed another chunk of hair. Did the 3 stroke deal. Stuck it down with the clean hair, and combed that 5 or 6 times. We did this until I did her whole head. It took a couple hours. It was not comfortable for her, but she didn't cry. I tried to let her move around a little and adjust herself to keep the blood flowing. After I got all of her hair done, I combed through it like I would brush her hair a few times, randomly rinsing my comb.

In addition to that, I still used my visual senses. If I saw anything like an egg or live lice, I did my best to remove it. It wasn't easy either for me. I have a bad back, and I pulled all my butt muscles. Then I did this a second time on pulled butt muscles. Look at it this way, this is also a blog post on how to get buns of steel.

I didn't give her a bath for 2 days after that because they say you shouldn't wash their hair for a couple days after treating it.

Well in 2 days, one of the eggs hatched and I saw baby lice. So we did the whole thing again without any treatment, just the combing. Just as thorough. Centimeter by centimeter, I combed through her hair. This time I used regular shampoo and conditioner (Herbal Essence, the original greenish yellowish kind). I swear to you the Herbal Essence mattered because it's one of the best clarifying shampoos on the market, and about the only thing that will strip your hair of the wax build up from the other products. I spent a little more time on the area I saw baby lice, and this time, instead of starting from the back of her head, I started from the front top of her head.

Then two days later, I gave her a shower, and I combed through her hair after the shower but like I would brush it. I didn't do any hair separating. Just a quick 5 minute comb over (after brushing out tangles of course).

That's all I did to treat her lice specifically.

READ THIS ABOUT THE USAGE OF CHEMICAL TREATMENTS!


My favorite part about this whole experience is how much the doctor did not know. She thought that Rid and Nix kills the eggs. Nope. Not according to their box, and not according to the CDC website. Does anyone fucking read these things? We women make fun of men for not reading the instructions, but most of you don't either. You have to be a true nerd like me to read instructions and warnings. It's technically the terms and conditions of that product, so I guess I can see why people don't read it. Including doctors.

Apparently, the prescription stuff is NOT easier on their heads like other blogger moms I have read on the subject said. One is highly flammable. You know that monster on Monster High who's head catches on fire? Yeah. We're not trying to dress up like him for Halloween. I'm not even sure if I can safely spray my kid with the fire extinguisher, which would so be my first instinct if her head spontaneously combusted into flames. You know what old school out in the country parents do? Yes my doctor gets these people all the time coming in with kids who'd give you a buzz to breath near...  Kerosene. That's also highly flammable. I guess the number one method of killing lice is to kill it with fire. They should form a mob with pitchforks every lice outbreak like the good ole days.

The other problem with prescriptions is they are all so new, most insurance companies don't cover them, and they cost over a hundred in cash. I would say that is only worth it if I can't get rid of the lice after a month.

Assuming moms of kids with lice are reading this, please read this part... The crap you put on your kids' heads to kill the lice, like Rid, is supposed to stay on the head a bit for a couple weeks (even when you wash, like it doesn't come off easily). The idea is it kills the live lice on the head, and when the eggs hatch and those lice bite your kid's head, it kills them then. This is important because if you treat with two different chemical treatments before the package says its safe to do, you risk side effects on your kid. According to their doctor, that stuff does absorb into the brain. Also, hair can fall out. 

I think it's safe to say the best part of the treatment is the combing, and that's what you should focus on the most. You basically have to remove every bug yourself, manually.

The school's No Nit Policy

And here you thought that was all there was to it.

In my neck of the woods, the schools have a no nit policy. As long as you have nits, your kid can't come to school. I wish they had an "inform the parents of a lice outbreak" policy, but sadly they don't. The annoying thing besides the not informing parents to use lice shield, they will lecture you and threaten education neglect when your kid misses over nits. So that means that during a lice outbreak, parents are breaking the no-nit policy to avoid jail time.

The first thing you should do is consider the Lice Shield or Tea Tree Oil to help repel lice on the kids who go to school during a lice outbreak. I prefer something I can spray on their head as opposed to something in the shampoo. But if you want to go all out, Lice Shield has a shampoo, plus they say any shampoo that smells like mint or coconut is a good one. Also, try to keep their hair pulled back in a pony tail or braid. If your kid has short hair, consider finding someone who does corn rows. I would. I am just saying. My kids appear white, it would look odd, but better to look like a wannabe for a minute than to get head lice. Tying a rag or scarf around their head is also good.

The second thing I did was I made my lice infested child miss school until the lice was gone. I would not have had that luxury had I not gotten rid of lice in less than a week. She really only missed 3 days of school. She had an excuse note, a doctor's excuse, and the nurse making her leave early one of the days. The school didn't seem to care about that because months later, they threatened education neglect for those absences. So I wrote another note explaining that the only reason my kids missed so far this year is due to the school's neglect to provide a safe environment to the kids, and there is never a good reason to threaten education neglect when public health is being considered. I haven't heard back from that office since. It's not that hard to outsmart the education system with basic logic. Just make sure you do or they will never stop being ignorant.

The third thing is the classrooms. I talked to the janitor at my kids' school. She is one of the nicest people employed at that school, so it wasn't hard to do. She informed me that she doesn't clean the classrooms. The teachers do. They can clean it any way they want to, including not cleaning it. Some use Clorox Clean Up Wipes, and others use the stuff the school supplies which kills so much more in the germ world than Clorox Clean Up Wipes. If you are using Clorox Clean Up Wipes, ew. Try switching to the kind they sell to hospitals and day cares. But when it comes to the classroom, make sure the teachers are using real pesticides to kill lice, bacteria and viruses. If all else fails, take a can of Lysol with you (the best pesticide in the woman's section of the store), and just start spraying random things like the door knob (wet it enough so it's wet for 10 minutes). Don't knock it. When your kid catches lice, norovirus, or the flu, you pay. Not the teacher. She basks in the glory of a smaller classroom while you are throwing up crapping yourself at every heave trying to get a blanky for your fevered child. Yeah, now the Lysol idea doesn't sound so crazy does it? Especially right before Christmas Break when everyone gets sick like it was conspired. It takes a village to kill a virus.

BTW, my head won't stop itching.

And now you are thinking, "Shit. I want to believe this crazy woman and her blog, but what if she's wrong and it gets worse because I didn't lose my mind trying to clean everything?" Well that's a big what if that you are going to have despite what you do. The important thing is that you do something. Be proactive. Learn about how lice operate. How long they survive without a host. How the eggs hatch. And then just use some logic. It's almost like we have this mother's intuition that will tell you things like, "I got a feeling there are lice eggs in this corner of this room I want to spay it with alcohol and vacuum."

And to note, we had lice hit us at the beginning of December 2013. I waited until April 2014 to write about it to make sure we really did get rid of it that easy. The school was worse than the lice.


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Blogs who I think sent me traffic to my blog that you should check out if you haven't...  I do read all of these blogs regularly.

The Bloggess

Insane in the Mom Brain

More than Cheese and Beer

Finding Ninee

Ooops I Said Vagina Again

Janine's Confessions of a Mommyaholic

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