Where are you God? My soul. My Mind. Lost.

I think that everyone has free will to believe whatever the fuck they want to believe, and pushing your standards and beliefs on others is distasteful and annoying. With that said, I'm not trying to push beliefs down your throat here. In fact, you don't have to read this. It really goes out to the Christians out there who like me, love God but can't find sanctuary in a church.

Do you ever wonder in the middle of the chaos of your life, "Where are you God? If you love me, why aren't you here helping me? Where are you?"

Do you remember the part of the Bible where Jesus said, "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you."

Basically I'm saying there was this time where I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, and I didn't fear evil, but I wondered where God was because he promised in writing he'd be with me. Well through the months of that, the months leading up to my vacation at the funny farm, these two old bitty women knocked on my door and invited me to a Baptist Church in town. Their names were also Laverne (something that sounded like it) and Shirley.

That was God. That's where He was trying to walk with me. I'm a dumbass who ignored it. I bet if I went to that church, I'd not have gotten as bad as I did. I'm planning to go this Sunday with the kids. Their children's church has puppets. I kind of want to go to that one.

I'm just taking a minute to say to you, if you wonder where God is in your life, you have to seek Him. Heaven is a place where the way in is the Homeboy Hookup. You gotta know Jesus/God. You have to know Him well enough for Him to say He knows you. God doesn't know my kids beyond my prayers at this point... And me? Remember that tree Eve ate from? Yeah, I ate the whole thing. I even made pies. I'm hopeless.

But the point is, if you want to know where God is in your life, don't ask God where He is. Ask yourself where you are.

On a side note: I'm going to start taking the kids to church. Their soul is their decision, but as a mom, I need to let them know their options. Plus it would be nice for someone to be like, "Listen to your mom when she talks or you are going to hell."