Use a little coffee to remove the most stubborn stain off your sofa

Ever have one of those stubborn sleeping husband stains on the sofa? I found the best method for removing the stain. At least it worked ok today...

1. Start off with a good slap upside the shoulder, "WAKE UP!!" That's just to help bring him up from the dream state so he knows what going on when you go to step 2.

2. Titty twister. Yes. Grab that nipple and twist. If the stain isn't out yet, proceed to...

3. Lick his stomach and then make nom nom nom sounds on it.

4. Tummy raspberry.

5. Have all the kids pile on him and walk across his face.

6. If that doesn't work, keep screaming at him to get up to make some coffee until he does.

And that is how you remove a stubborn sleeping husband stain off your sofa. Just be careful because it sometimes shows right back up once the coffee starts brewing. If that happens...

1. Have the 3 year old keep asking him to make mommy's coffee. We know it's brewing, but the 3 year old doesn't understand that.

2. Start talking to him about Star Trek.

3. Slap his cheek with your boob. Beware, the stain might suck you in if you get this close, in which case, 2 wet willies, drool on his armpit, and then squirm out of the firm grasp. Do not fall asleep. I repeat, do not fall asleep. Stay Strong. You can do it.

4. Pour his coffee and hand it to him.

I think I totally saw an episode where June Cleaver did this. Who knew coffee would take out one of the most stubborn stains?