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Crumpets and Bollocks: Go-To Snacks for Parties

Go-To Snacks for Parties

This is the status today on the Facebook Page for one of my favorite bloggers Kelley's Breakroom. Note: She's in the I Just Want to Pee Alone book. Looking hot as usual. I'd probably ask for her phone number if I were a lesbian or a dude, and if I were a dude, after reading her blog, she wouldn't be a one night stand. She's definitely wifey material. Chris, her husband, is very lucky I'm not a dude.

Dang it, dang it. I'm supposed to bring a "snack to share" to something tonight. It's a girl thing. I have nothing because i forgot about the snack thing until just now. What is your go-to "snack to share" at parties? In other words, help me.


So here's my answer the future Mrs. Kelley Grits and anyone reading this:

THINGS I NORMALLY MAKE: 

Bruschetta
Which is much faster now that I use the vegetable chopper, and you have to take the minute to tell your vegetables to "Get to the Choppa" before putting it in. Chop tomatoes and some onion, add basil (you can either take fresh, roll it up and slice, or the easy way, get the frozen cubes of them and add a couple), a little olive oil (enough to cover like you would any salad), sometimes I add some Balsamic Vinegar, add mozzarella cubes (the good mozzarella, cut into cubes), and then mix. It's best if you let it sit in the fridge overnight. Mine never makes it that far. I serve it with toasted French Bread slices, and I also frequently eat it straight up from the bowl, sometimes with a spoon.

artichoke dip
My Artichoke Dip
Artichoke Dip
The one everyone likes the most... Cut / chop up artichoke hearts, throw it in a pot with a bag of shredded mozzarella, a tub of sour cream, some garlic salt and some green onion (or onion salt), and heat until melted. When you mix it, the sour cream should just cover the cheese, like salad dressing on a salad once mixed up. I usually go with one can artichoke hearts for every 4 cup bag of cheese and 8 oz of sour cream. That can be served with crackers, tortilla chips, or toasted bread.

My husband's easy pasta salad
He takes cooked pasta, like macaroni, adds lunch meat cut up into little bite sized pieces (usually ham and turkey), adds chopped green pepper and onion, some minced garlic, and then covers it with mayonnaise.

Lime Pie
Take a bowl. Throw in 2 small tubs (or one big tub) of cool whip, a can of sweetened condensed milk, squirt in about 1 to 2 TBSP of lime juice, and add a couple drops of green food coloring. Mix with mixer. Stick CLEAN finger in the mix and lick your finger. Can you taste the lime enough? Or do you need more lime juice? When that passes the finger licking inspection, then dump it into graham cracker crusts. You might need two. You might not. It really depends on how often you did the finger licking challenge. Refrigerate. Sometimes it comes out to a perfect consistency to slice it up and remain nice looking. Sometimes it comes out goop, no matter how long you refrigerated. It's delicious goop, so it's still not a fail.

My Mom's Go-To--Dip
Take a 9x13 pan. Spread refried beans along the bottom. Layer sour cream next. Then Salsa. Then shredded cheddar cheese. Sometimes she adds lettuce. Sometimes she flips up the layers with sour cream on the bottom. Doesn't matter. Serve with tortilla chips.

I also frequently make whatever I'm hungry for just in case everyone else brought crap.

LAST SECOND THINGS TO BRING

Okay, so you don't have enough time to even make the bean dip. That happens. You are driving on the way there and THEN it dawns on you to bring something. This is my Go-To fixes.

Wine

Pie. Preferably from a small mom and pop diner down the street who makes them homemade. When I was in Wyoming, I did Perkins' pie.

Question Mark. Pick the grocery store who has the best bakery in town. Grab whatever is on sale.

Chips and Dip. You can go with regular chips and ranch dip. You can go with tortilla chips and salsa, and or the Tostitos Cheese (Con Queso, Mexican which isn't even a language for Cheese), and or some jarred guacamole (no where near as good as my Uncle's Mother's Homemade). You can also do Hummus. Spinach Artichoke Dip. The good crap in the bakery section.

Beer. The reason being, food stamps doesn't cover beer. So that's like a luxury item to some parties I go to.

On vegetable trays, I don't do that. I'm always afraid the host of wherever I'm going will take that as a sign that she thinks I think she might need to lose some weight by me bringing the vegetable tray. I have no idea why I think that. I'm sure it's Freudian. Kid Parties are the exception because when you take fruits and veggies to kid parties, then you are insinuating to the other parents that you are a good parent who places your child's health as a top priority and that you eat this sort of stuff all the time.

Note: I never bring booze to a kids party. Just in case some people were wondering since I did mention kids parties on the vegetable tray subject.

And because I'm a Diet Coke fanatic, I always bring my own Diet Coke.



Labels:

Crumpets and Bollocks: Go-To Snacks for Parties

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Go-To Snacks for Parties

This is the status today on the Facebook Page for one of my favorite bloggers Kelley's Breakroom. Note: She's in the I Just Want to Pee Alone book. Looking hot as usual. I'd probably ask for her phone number if I were a lesbian or a dude, and if I were a dude, after reading her blog, she wouldn't be a one night stand. She's definitely wifey material. Chris, her husband, is very lucky I'm not a dude.

Dang it, dang it. I'm supposed to bring a "snack to share" to something tonight. It's a girl thing. I have nothing because i forgot about the snack thing until just now. What is your go-to "snack to share" at parties? In other words, help me.


So here's my answer the future Mrs. Kelley Grits and anyone reading this:

THINGS I NORMALLY MAKE: 

Bruschetta
Which is much faster now that I use the vegetable chopper, and you have to take the minute to tell your vegetables to "Get to the Choppa" before putting it in. Chop tomatoes and some onion, add basil (you can either take fresh, roll it up and slice, or the easy way, get the frozen cubes of them and add a couple), a little olive oil (enough to cover like you would any salad), sometimes I add some Balsamic Vinegar, add mozzarella cubes (the good mozzarella, cut into cubes), and then mix. It's best if you let it sit in the fridge overnight. Mine never makes it that far. I serve it with toasted French Bread slices, and I also frequently eat it straight up from the bowl, sometimes with a spoon.

artichoke dip
My Artichoke Dip
Artichoke Dip
The one everyone likes the most... Cut / chop up artichoke hearts, throw it in a pot with a bag of shredded mozzarella, a tub of sour cream, some garlic salt and some green onion (or onion salt), and heat until melted. When you mix it, the sour cream should just cover the cheese, like salad dressing on a salad once mixed up. I usually go with one can artichoke hearts for every 4 cup bag of cheese and 8 oz of sour cream. That can be served with crackers, tortilla chips, or toasted bread.

My husband's easy pasta salad
He takes cooked pasta, like macaroni, adds lunch meat cut up into little bite sized pieces (usually ham and turkey), adds chopped green pepper and onion, some minced garlic, and then covers it with mayonnaise.

Lime Pie
Take a bowl. Throw in 2 small tubs (or one big tub) of cool whip, a can of sweetened condensed milk, squirt in about 1 to 2 TBSP of lime juice, and add a couple drops of green food coloring. Mix with mixer. Stick CLEAN finger in the mix and lick your finger. Can you taste the lime enough? Or do you need more lime juice? When that passes the finger licking inspection, then dump it into graham cracker crusts. You might need two. You might not. It really depends on how often you did the finger licking challenge. Refrigerate. Sometimes it comes out to a perfect consistency to slice it up and remain nice looking. Sometimes it comes out goop, no matter how long you refrigerated. It's delicious goop, so it's still not a fail.

My Mom's Go-To--Dip
Take a 9x13 pan. Spread refried beans along the bottom. Layer sour cream next. Then Salsa. Then shredded cheddar cheese. Sometimes she adds lettuce. Sometimes she flips up the layers with sour cream on the bottom. Doesn't matter. Serve with tortilla chips.

I also frequently make whatever I'm hungry for just in case everyone else brought crap.

LAST SECOND THINGS TO BRING

Okay, so you don't have enough time to even make the bean dip. That happens. You are driving on the way there and THEN it dawns on you to bring something. This is my Go-To fixes.

Wine

Pie. Preferably from a small mom and pop diner down the street who makes them homemade. When I was in Wyoming, I did Perkins' pie.

Question Mark. Pick the grocery store who has the best bakery in town. Grab whatever is on sale.

Chips and Dip. You can go with regular chips and ranch dip. You can go with tortilla chips and salsa, and or the Tostitos Cheese (Con Queso, Mexican which isn't even a language for Cheese), and or some jarred guacamole (no where near as good as my Uncle's Mother's Homemade). You can also do Hummus. Spinach Artichoke Dip. The good crap in the bakery section.

Beer. The reason being, food stamps doesn't cover beer. So that's like a luxury item to some parties I go to.

On vegetable trays, I don't do that. I'm always afraid the host of wherever I'm going will take that as a sign that she thinks I think she might need to lose some weight by me bringing the vegetable tray. I have no idea why I think that. I'm sure it's Freudian. Kid Parties are the exception because when you take fruits and veggies to kid parties, then you are insinuating to the other parents that you are a good parent who places your child's health as a top priority and that you eat this sort of stuff all the time.

Note: I never bring booze to a kids party. Just in case some people were wondering since I did mention kids parties on the vegetable tray subject.

And because I'm a Diet Coke fanatic, I always bring my own Diet Coke.



Labels:

2 Comments:

At June 19, 2013 at 8:06 PM , Blogger Kelley said...

This REALLY made me laugh out loud!!! You are hilarious!! I am not always wife material. I can be a real BIATCH sometimes! Thanks so much for all of this info and your nice words. I will bookmark this post!

 
At June 21, 2013 at 1:32 PM , Blogger Untouchable said...

If I were a dude, I would like feisty so bitch would work out well for us.

 

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