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Crumpets and Bollocks: Worst song for mornings, Bobbi Brown, Cobalt Blue, Berry lipstick and Vogue Magazine

Worst song for mornings, Bobbi Brown, Cobalt Blue, Berry lipstick and Vogue Magazine

Taking the kids to school this morning, I listened to, gasp, talk radio. We only have one station that will actually play music in the morning in my queue of stations that I like, and this morning, it played a lot of blah songs that are just not morning songs.

This is a morning song...


Let's get it started is a GREAT morning song because we woke up and we are getting it started... You know...

Now this next one is NOT a morning song...


In fact, this is the WORST song to play on the radio for dropping your kids off to school. We should ban this song from the radio between the hours of 7:00 AM to 9:00 AM. FCC, you gotta make this happen...

So TALK radio being one of those radio shows... after google, I found out I was listening to Elvis, and yes I drank his liquor from an old fruit jar, but in my defense, I didn't mess with his blue suede shoes. Elvis Duran interviewed Bobbi Brown this morning.

No, not Whitney's Bobby. Every little step I take. No, not him. HER...

She's really pretty, well she should be considering her career choice.

Maybe I only think she's pretty in this picture because I have dark brown long hair and wear a lot of red and black when I dress up.

Red and black are colors I love because I think they look the best on me. When I found out all the job interview websites say NEVER to wear those colors unless you are applying for positions of power like CEO because they are colors of power, that made me like wearing them more. It's not because I want to overpower people. I'm a very domineering person naturally without having to wear certain colors that there are many occasions where I wear gray and neutral browns just to tame down my overall impression a bit, but when you work with men, you HAVE to overpower them with overkill if you want to get anything done. Don't believe me? The last thing you asked your husband to fix, is it fixed? If you say yes, how long did it take? If you say less than 3 months, I'm going to assume you married the Brawny man, you used a whip, or you are lying.

Bobbi is a make-up specialist who deals with a lot in the fashion industry for those who don't know and just doesn't feel like googling it. Some things that stood out to me, I have an opinion about...

First, Cobalt Blue. That seems to be the color everyone throws out is the color of the season. I'm not a huge fan of it. I'm not a blue person anyway. I don't wear much blue unless it's a WVU shirt, something I match with gray sweatpants.

I don't even wear blue jeans. I have some. I just prefer elastic waists, like I said in an earlier blog post, because jeans give me gas. I am posh enough to talk about farting and fashion at the same time. It's important. What fun do you have if you have cramping from flatulence? None. Especially if you can't fart because you are in public. Sucking back in a fart on top of existing cramps is like level 7 cm dilated labor pains. That's just bollocks. Don't do it.

Back to cobalt blue, Bobbi says it's not an eyeshadow. I agree. Please don't do that. It is a fashion color supposedly inspiring people like Tommy Hilfiger, thus its popularity. It has its place in fashion, but out of place, it's out of place.

Second, Bobbi was saying berry colored lipsticks compliment some of the trending fashion this fall, which I think was chocolate, probably because this Fall is Mother Nature's PMS fall. I'm not even sure I'm remembering this part about chocolate with accuracy, like I know they talked about chocolate because I started thinking about how I ate all these almond chocolate things I had and the thought of not having anymore made me sad. Speaking of which, I think almond shades compliment chocolate shades really well.

I just want to point out, berry colored lipsticks look better on darker complexions. Winter is when white people get whiter unless they hit up a tanning bed which I don't suggest because I've seen too many crazy skin issues out there with age you don't want. Healthy skin looks better than tan skin, especially 20 years from now. Of course, many people of many shades can have healthy tan skin. I'm obviously referencing people who will tan themselves at the risk of skin cancer. So I first say, if you have a light complexion, you will want to try a bronzer. Don't go overboard.

Experimenting with lipstick is a great thing. Most department stores offer some sort of make-over where you can experiment with shades for free. They do that to help sell their product. DIY tip, go to the dollar store and buy them a dollar a pop to experiment first. If it looks good (keep in mind a better brand might have a similar shade that will look much better with the way they mix it), then go get a better brand in a similar shade. Pay attention to the shades you like on yourself, warm vs cool. Warm being like orange and red, cool being like blue and green. You may find a pattern to help you take better guesses in the future for trying new shades, like maybe you really only like warm shades on yourself, or you could be like me and are attracted to all the shades that look better on other people than you. Berry is one that looks awful on me, and I love it.

If you can't find a good berry that you like and still want to follow this fashion concept... As a mom, it's often that my children play with my make-up, and the first thing to go is my lipstick, generally my current favorites. It goes all over the kids, on the walls (olive oil does a great job at removing it from the face and wall, and so do baby wipes), but then they lose the rest of it. I suspect some day when I move out, I will find 50 empty tubes of lipstick in a pile somewhere. Anyway, I'm frequently stuck putting on makeup the few times I wear it with a lipstick I loathe. One of the dollar shades I experimented with way back when that is old, dried up a bit, a little expired, smells funky, and looks hideous on my face. I am the Erykah Badu Cleva and I make it work. This is how.

A good painter mixes their own colors. My art teacher in high school would only let us use the primary pigments and white. We even had to mix our own black, which he wanted because nothing is black black. Nothing. Take any photograph in photoshop, go over it with the color picker (the thing where you click on that, and whatever color that is is the color you now have selected), and find me #000000 straight black. That is in vector graphics, but not a photograph. It shouldn't be. Not even a black and white photo.

With that said, sometimes the best makeup is something you makeup. Ha, punny. Bobbi even mentioned a story where she had to improvise and make lipstick with gloss and eyeshadow. It's like cooking really. This sauce needs more garlic. These lips need to be darker, or lighter, or more brown, or more purple... That's all you got to do. Take your berry shade that you somewhat like and ask yourself, "What would make it perfect?" Consider the lighting where you will be. Always consider the lighting. It's different than your bathroom, or vanity if you are highbrow.

Then experiment to change the shade into something you do like. You can use lip liner to line your edges and then smudge them to a gradual lighter complexion as you go inward (creates the illusion of thicker lips), but it has to be done tastefully, not 1990's Compton gangsta.

You can use lip pencil as a base. Did you know Norman Rockwell's favorite base of most of his paintings is magenta? He painted a lot of his painting in magenta first, different shades of magenta, and then layered from there. He really believed the magenta brought out the hues of the top layers better, which contributed to his paintings' overall look and style.

You can also use eyeshadow, blush, and other powders with a little gloss or vaseline.

Tone down a berry with some of your powder foundation, your own skin tone. Make it a little more pastel with a light pink lipstick, shimmering eye shadow or baby powder. Neutralize it with the opposite, like if your berry is more of a cooler hue like blueish, add some warmer hues to it. If it's a warmer hue like orangeish, add a cooler hue to it. You can dramatically enhance the color with a neighboring color. Think color wheel. If your berry is orangeish, add a little more red or yellowish hues to it. If your berry is blueish, add some green or purple. Of course, experiment first for the look you are trying to achieve. You don't have to cover your entire lips with a certain color to enhance your current color, but keep in mind touch ups are not easy when you mix your own colors.

Third, Bobbi seems to consider Vogue Magazine the authority of fashion. She does listen to other sources for fashion, but when those sources contradict, take the side Vogue is on.

I agree with this concept in the sense of, the writers of Vogue follow their own advice. I've gotten paid to write fashion articles. I told people how to wear ankle boots and how accent their cocktail dress. I wrote these articles without showering for days, without sleeping for days, without pants, wrapped in a blanket, getting up every 10 seconds for a kid needing something. I had to make deadline, and working from home meant I brought my young children to work with me every day. There were times I missed my deadline because I chose to do the dishes once THAT WEEK instead. It's why I stopped writing for other people. Just no time for it. My home was more important to me, but the fact of the matter is, especially at that time, I was the LAST person to be dishing out advice on fashion. I still sort of am, on FASHION anyway. Beauty, I can talk and walk. Most of your writers are not that different. Most of your fashion experts are not actually experts. You CAN make this shit up. If you really don't know and have to follow someone's advice, Vogue.

Where I disagree...

Vogue is not mom friendly. Bobbi should know this because she has 3 boys. I'm sure she lost her mind with them on many occasions. Vogue doesn't give tips on fashion that involves baby spit up... How to wear your child's poop with style. Vomit, the trending shade mothers are wearing this flu season. Spice up your flannel pajama "drop your kids off at school" look with a cup of coffee. Non-sporty outfits that go well with tennis shoes. Most comfortable agile shoes for moms to wear that aren't tennis shoes or flip flops. How to avoid a camel toe with your yoga pants. Ready to make another baby? Sexy looks that do not require lingerie for the bathroom quickie while dinner is cooking and the television is babysitting the kids. These are just not stories Vogue covers. Vogue is too highbrow for motherhood.

The fashion buck should stop at you. Your intuition, preference, desires, needs and all that jive should trump Vogue. Fashion is a statement we make about ourselves. It's how you...

I can't stop. Someone stop me...


Yes Fashion is about expressing yourself. Designers express themselves in their designs, and we, the customers, do the same as we adapt their concepts, mix and match their looks, and create our own unique style. However, the industry is trying to make money. Of course THIS random thing is in because guess what? That's what they are selling this season. Half of what you read about fashion is marketing. Marketing is how Money expresses itself. That is all. Not you. Not the designers. The money. And nobody, not even Vogue, is an expert on you and your tastes.


TOTES LOVE what Bobbi had to say in this other interview:

LINK TO BOBBI BROWN ON ELVIS DURAN PAGE

"I love getting rid of things and giving things away. You help people and then you have room to buy more things."

"The two words that are important to me are confidence and comfortable. So if a woman finds what makes her comfortable, then she can be confident... because really all women are beautiful."

Bobbi's Book--One of them anyway :)

Bobbi's Blog


NOTE: I really should revisit this blog post for future blog post ideas. Seriously, someone has to write how to sport poop in style. I definitely could pop out non-lingerie sexiness (my favorite, go bra-less in a wife beater and get it wet by accident while doing the dishes and then ask the husband to help with the dishes--now that's foreplay).

Labels: , , , , , , ,

Crumpets and Bollocks: Worst song for mornings, Bobbi Brown, Cobalt Blue, Berry lipstick and Vogue Magazine

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Worst song for mornings, Bobbi Brown, Cobalt Blue, Berry lipstick and Vogue Magazine

Taking the kids to school this morning, I listened to, gasp, talk radio. We only have one station that will actually play music in the morning in my queue of stations that I like, and this morning, it played a lot of blah songs that are just not morning songs.

This is a morning song...


Let's get it started is a GREAT morning song because we woke up and we are getting it started... You know...

Now this next one is NOT a morning song...


In fact, this is the WORST song to play on the radio for dropping your kids off to school. We should ban this song from the radio between the hours of 7:00 AM to 9:00 AM. FCC, you gotta make this happen...

So TALK radio being one of those radio shows... after google, I found out I was listening to Elvis, and yes I drank his liquor from an old fruit jar, but in my defense, I didn't mess with his blue suede shoes. Elvis Duran interviewed Bobbi Brown this morning.

No, not Whitney's Bobby. Every little step I take. No, not him. HER...

She's really pretty, well she should be considering her career choice.

Maybe I only think she's pretty in this picture because I have dark brown long hair and wear a lot of red and black when I dress up.

Red and black are colors I love because I think they look the best on me. When I found out all the job interview websites say NEVER to wear those colors unless you are applying for positions of power like CEO because they are colors of power, that made me like wearing them more. It's not because I want to overpower people. I'm a very domineering person naturally without having to wear certain colors that there are many occasions where I wear gray and neutral browns just to tame down my overall impression a bit, but when you work with men, you HAVE to overpower them with overkill if you want to get anything done. Don't believe me? The last thing you asked your husband to fix, is it fixed? If you say yes, how long did it take? If you say less than 3 months, I'm going to assume you married the Brawny man, you used a whip, or you are lying.

Bobbi is a make-up specialist who deals with a lot in the fashion industry for those who don't know and just doesn't feel like googling it. Some things that stood out to me, I have an opinion about...

First, Cobalt Blue. That seems to be the color everyone throws out is the color of the season. I'm not a huge fan of it. I'm not a blue person anyway. I don't wear much blue unless it's a WVU shirt, something I match with gray sweatpants.

I don't even wear blue jeans. I have some. I just prefer elastic waists, like I said in an earlier blog post, because jeans give me gas. I am posh enough to talk about farting and fashion at the same time. It's important. What fun do you have if you have cramping from flatulence? None. Especially if you can't fart because you are in public. Sucking back in a fart on top of existing cramps is like level 7 cm dilated labor pains. That's just bollocks. Don't do it.

Back to cobalt blue, Bobbi says it's not an eyeshadow. I agree. Please don't do that. It is a fashion color supposedly inspiring people like Tommy Hilfiger, thus its popularity. It has its place in fashion, but out of place, it's out of place.

Second, Bobbi was saying berry colored lipsticks compliment some of the trending fashion this fall, which I think was chocolate, probably because this Fall is Mother Nature's PMS fall. I'm not even sure I'm remembering this part about chocolate with accuracy, like I know they talked about chocolate because I started thinking about how I ate all these almond chocolate things I had and the thought of not having anymore made me sad. Speaking of which, I think almond shades compliment chocolate shades really well.

I just want to point out, berry colored lipsticks look better on darker complexions. Winter is when white people get whiter unless they hit up a tanning bed which I don't suggest because I've seen too many crazy skin issues out there with age you don't want. Healthy skin looks better than tan skin, especially 20 years from now. Of course, many people of many shades can have healthy tan skin. I'm obviously referencing people who will tan themselves at the risk of skin cancer. So I first say, if you have a light complexion, you will want to try a bronzer. Don't go overboard.

Experimenting with lipstick is a great thing. Most department stores offer some sort of make-over where you can experiment with shades for free. They do that to help sell their product. DIY tip, go to the dollar store and buy them a dollar a pop to experiment first. If it looks good (keep in mind a better brand might have a similar shade that will look much better with the way they mix it), then go get a better brand in a similar shade. Pay attention to the shades you like on yourself, warm vs cool. Warm being like orange and red, cool being like blue and green. You may find a pattern to help you take better guesses in the future for trying new shades, like maybe you really only like warm shades on yourself, or you could be like me and are attracted to all the shades that look better on other people than you. Berry is one that looks awful on me, and I love it.

If you can't find a good berry that you like and still want to follow this fashion concept... As a mom, it's often that my children play with my make-up, and the first thing to go is my lipstick, generally my current favorites. It goes all over the kids, on the walls (olive oil does a great job at removing it from the face and wall, and so do baby wipes), but then they lose the rest of it. I suspect some day when I move out, I will find 50 empty tubes of lipstick in a pile somewhere. Anyway, I'm frequently stuck putting on makeup the few times I wear it with a lipstick I loathe. One of the dollar shades I experimented with way back when that is old, dried up a bit, a little expired, smells funky, and looks hideous on my face. I am the Erykah Badu Cleva and I make it work. This is how.

A good painter mixes their own colors. My art teacher in high school would only let us use the primary pigments and white. We even had to mix our own black, which he wanted because nothing is black black. Nothing. Take any photograph in photoshop, go over it with the color picker (the thing where you click on that, and whatever color that is is the color you now have selected), and find me #000000 straight black. That is in vector graphics, but not a photograph. It shouldn't be. Not even a black and white photo.

With that said, sometimes the best makeup is something you makeup. Ha, punny. Bobbi even mentioned a story where she had to improvise and make lipstick with gloss and eyeshadow. It's like cooking really. This sauce needs more garlic. These lips need to be darker, or lighter, or more brown, or more purple... That's all you got to do. Take your berry shade that you somewhat like and ask yourself, "What would make it perfect?" Consider the lighting where you will be. Always consider the lighting. It's different than your bathroom, or vanity if you are highbrow.

Then experiment to change the shade into something you do like. You can use lip liner to line your edges and then smudge them to a gradual lighter complexion as you go inward (creates the illusion of thicker lips), but it has to be done tastefully, not 1990's Compton gangsta.

You can use lip pencil as a base. Did you know Norman Rockwell's favorite base of most of his paintings is magenta? He painted a lot of his painting in magenta first, different shades of magenta, and then layered from there. He really believed the magenta brought out the hues of the top layers better, which contributed to his paintings' overall look and style.

You can also use eyeshadow, blush, and other powders with a little gloss or vaseline.

Tone down a berry with some of your powder foundation, your own skin tone. Make it a little more pastel with a light pink lipstick, shimmering eye shadow or baby powder. Neutralize it with the opposite, like if your berry is more of a cooler hue like blueish, add some warmer hues to it. If it's a warmer hue like orangeish, add a cooler hue to it. You can dramatically enhance the color with a neighboring color. Think color wheel. If your berry is orangeish, add a little more red or yellowish hues to it. If your berry is blueish, add some green or purple. Of course, experiment first for the look you are trying to achieve. You don't have to cover your entire lips with a certain color to enhance your current color, but keep in mind touch ups are not easy when you mix your own colors.

Third, Bobbi seems to consider Vogue Magazine the authority of fashion. She does listen to other sources for fashion, but when those sources contradict, take the side Vogue is on.

I agree with this concept in the sense of, the writers of Vogue follow their own advice. I've gotten paid to write fashion articles. I told people how to wear ankle boots and how accent their cocktail dress. I wrote these articles without showering for days, without sleeping for days, without pants, wrapped in a blanket, getting up every 10 seconds for a kid needing something. I had to make deadline, and working from home meant I brought my young children to work with me every day. There were times I missed my deadline because I chose to do the dishes once THAT WEEK instead. It's why I stopped writing for other people. Just no time for it. My home was more important to me, but the fact of the matter is, especially at that time, I was the LAST person to be dishing out advice on fashion. I still sort of am, on FASHION anyway. Beauty, I can talk and walk. Most of your writers are not that different. Most of your fashion experts are not actually experts. You CAN make this shit up. If you really don't know and have to follow someone's advice, Vogue.

Where I disagree...

Vogue is not mom friendly. Bobbi should know this because she has 3 boys. I'm sure she lost her mind with them on many occasions. Vogue doesn't give tips on fashion that involves baby spit up... How to wear your child's poop with style. Vomit, the trending shade mothers are wearing this flu season. Spice up your flannel pajama "drop your kids off at school" look with a cup of coffee. Non-sporty outfits that go well with tennis shoes. Most comfortable agile shoes for moms to wear that aren't tennis shoes or flip flops. How to avoid a camel toe with your yoga pants. Ready to make another baby? Sexy looks that do not require lingerie for the bathroom quickie while dinner is cooking and the television is babysitting the kids. These are just not stories Vogue covers. Vogue is too highbrow for motherhood.

The fashion buck should stop at you. Your intuition, preference, desires, needs and all that jive should trump Vogue. Fashion is a statement we make about ourselves. It's how you...

I can't stop. Someone stop me...


Yes Fashion is about expressing yourself. Designers express themselves in their designs, and we, the customers, do the same as we adapt their concepts, mix and match their looks, and create our own unique style. However, the industry is trying to make money. Of course THIS random thing is in because guess what? That's what they are selling this season. Half of what you read about fashion is marketing. Marketing is how Money expresses itself. That is all. Not you. Not the designers. The money. And nobody, not even Vogue, is an expert on you and your tastes.


TOTES LOVE what Bobbi had to say in this other interview:

LINK TO BOBBI BROWN ON ELVIS DURAN PAGE

"I love getting rid of things and giving things away. You help people and then you have room to buy more things."

"The two words that are important to me are confidence and comfortable. So if a woman finds what makes her comfortable, then she can be confident... because really all women are beautiful."

Bobbi's Book--One of them anyway :)

Bobbi's Blog


NOTE: I really should revisit this blog post for future blog post ideas. Seriously, someone has to write how to sport poop in style. I definitely could pop out non-lingerie sexiness (my favorite, go bra-less in a wife beater and get it wet by accident while doing the dishes and then ask the husband to help with the dishes--now that's foreplay).

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