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Crumpets and Bollocks: The Memoirs of my Day Vacation: The Chaos

The Memoirs of my Day Vacation: The Chaos

The kids were restless and the nights were drunken stupors at home, in the kitchen, with the fish, Fishy. No he was not hurt during any of it. But it was a good clear indicator that it was time. It was time to get the fuck out of here and go somewhere else. Anywhere else but here.

Embrace Yourself: I will flip between verb tenses. Just try to follow me anyway. 

Mind you, I'm in need of a real break. Not that whole, "Hey you didn't get to sleep for 2 days so here's a few hours to dream about Sylvester Stallone." Yes I needed that sleep and wet dream, but it's not a break. No, I need a break from all the needy demanding people in my life. This includes my kids, other people's kids, my friends, my husband, my mother, my sister... People seem to think I'm a robot with magical batteries that never needs recharged and a magical wand who bibbity bobbity boops solutions to everyone's problems, wants, and frivolous whims. I have spoiled all those around me, and I'm paying the price.

Instead of doing my viciously desperate, well-earned ME TIME, I did a family thing. I'm going to have to wait until some fairy godmother decides to finally grace me with her presence for the metime shit. For many reasons, it also had to be a mini-vacation.

I didn't tell anyone my thoughts outside of hinting to the husband (and neighbor) that I want to try to hit Pittsburgh on his days off. I'm a spontaneous person. I want to get in the car and just go. I can't do that anymore with kids. So I was googling the options of what to do without actually planning or setting anything into stone. There's a reason for that. Unforeseen Circumstances. Mine are more random than Insane in the Mom-Brain and contributes to the chaos. The more planned an event is, the more chaotic it is when life throws me curve balls. This is why I can't be anywhere on time.

Two days before this event, my mom falls at work. Fractured her hip. So I told myself we weren't going. On Saturday, instead of being in Pittsburgh, my mom came home from the hospital, and I made Chicken, Fettuccine Alfredo, and a Spinach and Artichoke dip (all from scratch), doubling the recipe, cooking for my friend and her son who popped by and helped, my husband, my nephew, and my kids with my half, and the other half going to my mother, her husband, and my family who came in town to help my mom. Confession, the dishes from this chaos are still in my sink, growing a civilization. It's scheduled to get washed after I post this part of the blog series. To clue you into the chaos, I used every pot and large bowl I own.

In that, I also did 3 loads of laundry, went to the grocery store 3 times, and picked up my nephew. I had him for almost a week, and his mom came and got him on Friday. He wanted to immediately come back to me because he didn't have WiFi there. She steals it from her neighbor and best friend for 20 years. So I contacted that person, found out the problem, bought her an upgraded Net Gear and brought it to her just so my nephew could have WiFi and stay home, all on Friday, and still, he had issues staying with his mom. In her defense, she is trying. She just has no concept of responsibility, and I helped my parents raise her that way. But this is her growing up period. Better late than never.

I also found out with this dinner I made people that my sister's inlaws take my sister's kids on vacation. They took them to Cedar Point earlier this summer. This weekend, they will be taking them to Virginia Beach. Last year, they went places with them too. They don't take my one nephew. He's excluded because of his autism and the fact that he isn't related to them by blood like his siblings. He was my sister's kid she already had entering her relationship with her soon to be ex. This is why she steals WiFi from her friend. She just left her husband. Divorce is pending. That is never cheap.

So of course, my heart goes out to my nephew. Fuck. We have to go to Pittsburgh. He has to come with us.

First obstacle. The husband. This whole summer, I had someone else's kid here. He's sick of it. I am the pied piper of children, and it drives him insane. People send me their kids when they can't handle them. When they need someone to straighten out their kids. YET, these same people want to tell me how to parent or mock my parenting. I'm too nice. I don't discipline enough. I know. Stupid people are stupid. Anyway, Saturday night, I tell my husband about this. He surprised me. He was on the same page. Whatever it takes to bring my nephew, we're bringing him. Too easy.

Second obstacle. The car. My husband's Mustang fits 4 people. My Escape fits 5. I need something that fits 6 people. We could just take 2 cars, but I don't want to park in the city with two cars with someone trying to follow me and keep up, and if they don't, they are lost forever. But now it's Sunday. No rental car place is open in town. I had to go an hour south out of my way to an airport to get a rental car. And I did.

I called, reserved the car, and as I was leaving to drive down to get it, I remembered, the kids lost my ID. They played in my wallet sometime in May and I haven't seen my driver's license since. My oldest swore she put it back in my wallet, and my husband searched my whole wallet 5 times for it and nothing, so I thought my oldest was smoking her cereal with that. Now, I have to take my husband and kids to go pick this thing up. I did. We get in the car, start driving south, and I think to look in my wallet just to see if my kid isn't smoking cereal. I find my ID. In my wallet. Like my child said.

Third obstacle. The hotel. Most hotels will allow maximum occupancy of 4. Sometimes I sneak in number 5 just because she's three. But 6, not happening. I could get two adjoining rooms, or a suite that fits more. Well a lot of places today have regular hotel rooms and then a room they made just a teensy bit bigger and call that a suite. Assholes. That's not a suite. It's the hotel room people getting a hotel room SHOULD be getting. A suite is supposed to have more than one bedroom, a living room, and a mini bar. So after picking up the rental car, I sat on Google for an hour looking at hotels before I finally got smart and went to hotels.com just so I could enter adults and children.

Remind you, my nephew is 13, on the autism spectrum. He's going to be picky. The stupidest thing could set off a meltdown or throw his balance off to fully enjoy himself, at least until he grows up a bit and gains some coping skills. So this was a smart move on my part because I could let him see pictures of the hotel rooms and have a say in where we stay. I do think it's important for kids his age to start making decisions anyway. To have a say. To live with the consequences of their choices and watch others experience those consequences with them. To hear your input in your decision making process.

He really liked the main ones the hotel website search results gave us. They ranged in price greatly too, but I know he likes a little privacy, his own space, and I don't like those bigger rooms claiming to be a suite because we would still be on top of each other. Only one place had an actual suite for less than 450 dollars a night. My nephew only wanted to make sure he would have a television near the sofa so that he could hook up his xbox. I know. I agree. But you pick and choose your battles wisely with kids.

So I called and reserved a room at the Residence Inn. Then I jumped back on Google and printed maps, destination information, etc. The husband and nephew played video games while I did all this.

So then after all that, I packed. It was already way later than I wanted to leave in more ways than one. It was evening already. Dinner time. We haven't left yet. And I just realized at that point, I hadn't had coffee yet. I did all this BEFORE I was coherent. There were times I thought, "Fuck it, we can't do this. I needed to plan this shit days ago." Then I reminded myself, "Stop, embrace the chaos."

Part II is The Mayhem.


Labels: , , , , ,

Crumpets and Bollocks: The Memoirs of my Day Vacation: The Chaos

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

The Memoirs of my Day Vacation: The Chaos

The kids were restless and the nights were drunken stupors at home, in the kitchen, with the fish, Fishy. No he was not hurt during any of it. But it was a good clear indicator that it was time. It was time to get the fuck out of here and go somewhere else. Anywhere else but here.

Embrace Yourself: I will flip between verb tenses. Just try to follow me anyway. 

Mind you, I'm in need of a real break. Not that whole, "Hey you didn't get to sleep for 2 days so here's a few hours to dream about Sylvester Stallone." Yes I needed that sleep and wet dream, but it's not a break. No, I need a break from all the needy demanding people in my life. This includes my kids, other people's kids, my friends, my husband, my mother, my sister... People seem to think I'm a robot with magical batteries that never needs recharged and a magical wand who bibbity bobbity boops solutions to everyone's problems, wants, and frivolous whims. I have spoiled all those around me, and I'm paying the price.

Instead of doing my viciously desperate, well-earned ME TIME, I did a family thing. I'm going to have to wait until some fairy godmother decides to finally grace me with her presence for the metime shit. For many reasons, it also had to be a mini-vacation.

I didn't tell anyone my thoughts outside of hinting to the husband (and neighbor) that I want to try to hit Pittsburgh on his days off. I'm a spontaneous person. I want to get in the car and just go. I can't do that anymore with kids. So I was googling the options of what to do without actually planning or setting anything into stone. There's a reason for that. Unforeseen Circumstances. Mine are more random than Insane in the Mom-Brain and contributes to the chaos. The more planned an event is, the more chaotic it is when life throws me curve balls. This is why I can't be anywhere on time.

Two days before this event, my mom falls at work. Fractured her hip. So I told myself we weren't going. On Saturday, instead of being in Pittsburgh, my mom came home from the hospital, and I made Chicken, Fettuccine Alfredo, and a Spinach and Artichoke dip (all from scratch), doubling the recipe, cooking for my friend and her son who popped by and helped, my husband, my nephew, and my kids with my half, and the other half going to my mother, her husband, and my family who came in town to help my mom. Confession, the dishes from this chaos are still in my sink, growing a civilization. It's scheduled to get washed after I post this part of the blog series. To clue you into the chaos, I used every pot and large bowl I own.

In that, I also did 3 loads of laundry, went to the grocery store 3 times, and picked up my nephew. I had him for almost a week, and his mom came and got him on Friday. He wanted to immediately come back to me because he didn't have WiFi there. She steals it from her neighbor and best friend for 20 years. So I contacted that person, found out the problem, bought her an upgraded Net Gear and brought it to her just so my nephew could have WiFi and stay home, all on Friday, and still, he had issues staying with his mom. In her defense, she is trying. She just has no concept of responsibility, and I helped my parents raise her that way. But this is her growing up period. Better late than never.

I also found out with this dinner I made people that my sister's inlaws take my sister's kids on vacation. They took them to Cedar Point earlier this summer. This weekend, they will be taking them to Virginia Beach. Last year, they went places with them too. They don't take my one nephew. He's excluded because of his autism and the fact that he isn't related to them by blood like his siblings. He was my sister's kid she already had entering her relationship with her soon to be ex. This is why she steals WiFi from her friend. She just left her husband. Divorce is pending. That is never cheap.

So of course, my heart goes out to my nephew. Fuck. We have to go to Pittsburgh. He has to come with us.

First obstacle. The husband. This whole summer, I had someone else's kid here. He's sick of it. I am the pied piper of children, and it drives him insane. People send me their kids when they can't handle them. When they need someone to straighten out their kids. YET, these same people want to tell me how to parent or mock my parenting. I'm too nice. I don't discipline enough. I know. Stupid people are stupid. Anyway, Saturday night, I tell my husband about this. He surprised me. He was on the same page. Whatever it takes to bring my nephew, we're bringing him. Too easy.

Second obstacle. The car. My husband's Mustang fits 4 people. My Escape fits 5. I need something that fits 6 people. We could just take 2 cars, but I don't want to park in the city with two cars with someone trying to follow me and keep up, and if they don't, they are lost forever. But now it's Sunday. No rental car place is open in town. I had to go an hour south out of my way to an airport to get a rental car. And I did.

I called, reserved the car, and as I was leaving to drive down to get it, I remembered, the kids lost my ID. They played in my wallet sometime in May and I haven't seen my driver's license since. My oldest swore she put it back in my wallet, and my husband searched my whole wallet 5 times for it and nothing, so I thought my oldest was smoking her cereal with that. Now, I have to take my husband and kids to go pick this thing up. I did. We get in the car, start driving south, and I think to look in my wallet just to see if my kid isn't smoking cereal. I find my ID. In my wallet. Like my child said.

Third obstacle. The hotel. Most hotels will allow maximum occupancy of 4. Sometimes I sneak in number 5 just because she's three. But 6, not happening. I could get two adjoining rooms, or a suite that fits more. Well a lot of places today have regular hotel rooms and then a room they made just a teensy bit bigger and call that a suite. Assholes. That's not a suite. It's the hotel room people getting a hotel room SHOULD be getting. A suite is supposed to have more than one bedroom, a living room, and a mini bar. So after picking up the rental car, I sat on Google for an hour looking at hotels before I finally got smart and went to hotels.com just so I could enter adults and children.

Remind you, my nephew is 13, on the autism spectrum. He's going to be picky. The stupidest thing could set off a meltdown or throw his balance off to fully enjoy himself, at least until he grows up a bit and gains some coping skills. So this was a smart move on my part because I could let him see pictures of the hotel rooms and have a say in where we stay. I do think it's important for kids his age to start making decisions anyway. To have a say. To live with the consequences of their choices and watch others experience those consequences with them. To hear your input in your decision making process.

He really liked the main ones the hotel website search results gave us. They ranged in price greatly too, but I know he likes a little privacy, his own space, and I don't like those bigger rooms claiming to be a suite because we would still be on top of each other. Only one place had an actual suite for less than 450 dollars a night. My nephew only wanted to make sure he would have a television near the sofa so that he could hook up his xbox. I know. I agree. But you pick and choose your battles wisely with kids.

So I called and reserved a room at the Residence Inn. Then I jumped back on Google and printed maps, destination information, etc. The husband and nephew played video games while I did all this.

So then after all that, I packed. It was already way later than I wanted to leave in more ways than one. It was evening already. Dinner time. We haven't left yet. And I just realized at that point, I hadn't had coffee yet. I did all this BEFORE I was coherent. There were times I thought, "Fuck it, we can't do this. I needed to plan this shit days ago." Then I reminded myself, "Stop, embrace the chaos."

Part II is The Mayhem.


Labels: , , , , ,

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