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Crumpets and Bollocks: Pardon my childish it's not fair I didn't get my way tears; I really am happy for those who got to go. Sniff Sniff.

Pardon my childish it's not fair I didn't get my way tears; I really am happy for those who got to go. Sniff Sniff.

I've been toasting every shot of vodka since Thursday to random Mom Bloggers, in my kitchen, with the fish (who doesn't drink). 

I really wanted to be in Chicago right now. In fact, I feel like a child on the inside, like underneath this cool, calm, responsible exterior, I'm crying, kicking things, screaming, rocking with hysterical overdramatic taking in breaths freaking out, it's not fair. Then I'm cool for a minute, totally forget all about it, and boom, I see a picture of everyone else in Chicago and I'm actually feeling jealousy. I'm not playing. I'm not just saying it because it sounds like it would be a normal response. I really am jealous. I'm not jealous of the women in the pictures. I'm jealous of every item that surrounds them in the picture. The Lazyboy sign. I could be that sign photobombing a good picture.

Right now, in Chicago, there's a "silly little" convention going on called Blog Her. Silly Little would be my husband's view. To me, it's the Disney World of theme parks. It has attracted some of my favorite bloggers who I've not only been reading for years, but i fell in love with their personalities so fast and so hard, I did the whole stalkery thing and found their asses on Facebook and added them as friends (for professional networking purposes, yeah), so we've also been chatting too. Only thing is, I have not actually met them Face to Face, though Facebook has the word Face in it but it's not the same thing. Now a lot of them are in one spot, drinking, without me.

Why am I not there? One the money. The sad reality is the Fairy Godmother doesn't show up last second to help you get your ass to the ball. Instead, life throws balls at you, extra curveballs to remove all options, like life picks up where the stepsisters left off. The moment I said, "I think I will save some money," that's when the husband decides to do some shopping spree on the internet. THEN, life is like, "I think your car should die, forever, and this next paycheck you think you are getting, it won't happen, and that health insurance that covers 90% that is shit hot? Yeah you're about to find out what a deductible is, and it's a lot bigger when in your face isn't it? and oh, there's your tax refund coming. Well you guys probably need a vacation since your husband's plant went on strike last summer (for the insurance), so let me just delay that for you by about 3 months, which is coincidentally the length of summer."

And Two, I don't have a babysitter for when the husband's at work. We are talking obnoxious hours, like whoever was watching the kids while I was gone would have to stay at my house while I'm gone with a 4 hour break at best in between the husband's shifts and sleep. I have one person I can count on for something like that, so I'd be very dependent on that one person's schedule. It's a lot to ask of someone too because my mom won't do that. I really wouldn't want to ask my mom because she's old and my kids are a handful. It would be like asking, "Hey mom, do you mind triggering your arthritis into unimaginable pain just so I can go get drunk in Chicago?" Yeah, doesn't sound too grown up on my part.

And then there's all the reasons listed here... 101 Excuses for Not Going To BlogHer 2013

So I'm not going. Instead, I'm staring at their pictures with envy. I've been to Chicago a few times. I saw it. I can still see the city from the lake. I can still see the lake from my old hotel room. I'm not jealous of people going to Chicago. I'm jealous of Chicago for getting to visit with those people.

And I just wanted to point out an observation... From the photographs I'm seeing, I've decided there's two main types of bloggers out there. Blonds and Brunettes. Like it looks like two families of related people. The blonds have a round face, button nose, and a fun loving smile. All the brunettes have longer faces, perky noses, and a Britishy tea time looking smile. Okay, some brunettes dyed their hair blond, but we know they should be brunettes with their Tea Time Laura Croft Smiles. Because I totally fit the Brunette description, I would have fit in. I just know it. These people are one of those tribes Nikki was talking about in her BLOG POST HERE.

But look at these pictures...

From Insane in the Mom Brain's Facebook
Patti (Insane); Nikki (MWDAS); and Rachael (RachRiot)

Look at them... They appear like normal women hugging in front of the LaZboy sign that should have been me with a goofy face, but in reality, these are some of the smartest, funniest, most diabolical masterminds of the interwebs.

Crumb Diaries, Insane Mom Brain, I Want a Dumpster Baby






From Kelley's Break Room's Facebook Page
Rebecca from Frugalista Blog, Kelley, and Rachael (RachRiot)

Sue from The Spin Cycle and Kelley from Kelley's Break Room




This came from I Want a Dumpster Baby's Facebook Page. They all look related to me. Like they all came from the same momma who just happens to have a bunch of baby daddys in her life. 






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Crumpets and Bollocks: Pardon my childish it's not fair I didn't get my way tears; I really am happy for those who got to go. Sniff Sniff.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Pardon my childish it's not fair I didn't get my way tears; I really am happy for those who got to go. Sniff Sniff.

I've been toasting every shot of vodka since Thursday to random Mom Bloggers, in my kitchen, with the fish (who doesn't drink). 

I really wanted to be in Chicago right now. In fact, I feel like a child on the inside, like underneath this cool, calm, responsible exterior, I'm crying, kicking things, screaming, rocking with hysterical overdramatic taking in breaths freaking out, it's not fair. Then I'm cool for a minute, totally forget all about it, and boom, I see a picture of everyone else in Chicago and I'm actually feeling jealousy. I'm not playing. I'm not just saying it because it sounds like it would be a normal response. I really am jealous. I'm not jealous of the women in the pictures. I'm jealous of every item that surrounds them in the picture. The Lazyboy sign. I could be that sign photobombing a good picture.

Right now, in Chicago, there's a "silly little" convention going on called Blog Her. Silly Little would be my husband's view. To me, it's the Disney World of theme parks. It has attracted some of my favorite bloggers who I've not only been reading for years, but i fell in love with their personalities so fast and so hard, I did the whole stalkery thing and found their asses on Facebook and added them as friends (for professional networking purposes, yeah), so we've also been chatting too. Only thing is, I have not actually met them Face to Face, though Facebook has the word Face in it but it's not the same thing. Now a lot of them are in one spot, drinking, without me.

Why am I not there? One the money. The sad reality is the Fairy Godmother doesn't show up last second to help you get your ass to the ball. Instead, life throws balls at you, extra curveballs to remove all options, like life picks up where the stepsisters left off. The moment I said, "I think I will save some money," that's when the husband decides to do some shopping spree on the internet. THEN, life is like, "I think your car should die, forever, and this next paycheck you think you are getting, it won't happen, and that health insurance that covers 90% that is shit hot? Yeah you're about to find out what a deductible is, and it's a lot bigger when in your face isn't it? and oh, there's your tax refund coming. Well you guys probably need a vacation since your husband's plant went on strike last summer (for the insurance), so let me just delay that for you by about 3 months, which is coincidentally the length of summer."

And Two, I don't have a babysitter for when the husband's at work. We are talking obnoxious hours, like whoever was watching the kids while I was gone would have to stay at my house while I'm gone with a 4 hour break at best in between the husband's shifts and sleep. I have one person I can count on for something like that, so I'd be very dependent on that one person's schedule. It's a lot to ask of someone too because my mom won't do that. I really wouldn't want to ask my mom because she's old and my kids are a handful. It would be like asking, "Hey mom, do you mind triggering your arthritis into unimaginable pain just so I can go get drunk in Chicago?" Yeah, doesn't sound too grown up on my part.

And then there's all the reasons listed here... 101 Excuses for Not Going To BlogHer 2013

So I'm not going. Instead, I'm staring at their pictures with envy. I've been to Chicago a few times. I saw it. I can still see the city from the lake. I can still see the lake from my old hotel room. I'm not jealous of people going to Chicago. I'm jealous of Chicago for getting to visit with those people.

And I just wanted to point out an observation... From the photographs I'm seeing, I've decided there's two main types of bloggers out there. Blonds and Brunettes. Like it looks like two families of related people. The blonds have a round face, button nose, and a fun loving smile. All the brunettes have longer faces, perky noses, and a Britishy tea time looking smile. Okay, some brunettes dyed their hair blond, but we know they should be brunettes with their Tea Time Laura Croft Smiles. Because I totally fit the Brunette description, I would have fit in. I just know it. These people are one of those tribes Nikki was talking about in her BLOG POST HERE.

But look at these pictures...

From Insane in the Mom Brain's Facebook
Patti (Insane); Nikki (MWDAS); and Rachael (RachRiot)

Look at them... They appear like normal women hugging in front of the LaZboy sign that should have been me with a goofy face, but in reality, these are some of the smartest, funniest, most diabolical masterminds of the interwebs.

Crumb Diaries, Insane Mom Brain, I Want a Dumpster Baby






From Kelley's Break Room's Facebook Page
Rebecca from Frugalista Blog, Kelley, and Rachael (RachRiot)

Sue from The Spin Cycle and Kelley from Kelley's Break Room




This came from I Want a Dumpster Baby's Facebook Page. They all look related to me. Like they all came from the same momma who just happens to have a bunch of baby daddys in her life. 






Labels: , , , , , ,

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