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Crumpets and Bollocks: I dream that someday, moms will have a place of our own that we don't have to clean. It would be a store called Mombies. Until then...

I dream that someday, moms will have a place of our own that we don't have to clean. It would be a store called Mombies. Until then...


Dribbles and Grits Announcement

So I have a store at zazzle, cafepress, and now spreadshirt. Spreadshirt will be my main store. You will get better quality shit with that. I have more design room, and other printing options so I can make your tits sparkle. Zazzle will be the store where I place randomness words on shirts. Simple stuff I can do in seconds. I'll keep cafepress, but I probably won't market it much. If I add products to it, it will be undies and beer stuff and maybe household stuff. Less t-shirt stuff. I hate to make you go to different places for different chizz, but I'm not a multi-millionaire with access to my own inventory, and y'all don't like me that much to make it worth the investment if I were.

Actually, if I were, I'd invest in a few mom bloggers. It would be one major store of awesome stuff from Moms who drink and swear's brain, Insane in the Mom-Brain's brain, and The Bloggess's brain, (The Holy Trinity of Mom Bloggers) as well as the many others I love, and it would be like Macy's except there'd be a section to buy and sell antiques and silly strange unusual stuff like these...

From Insane in the Mom Brain
We think under the baby heads are petrified penises

From The Bloggess
This was sent to her as a gift, and she loves it.


I think it should be called MOMBIES. That is what I'd call it.

There would also be an in-store day care, and it would have pre-school teachers working there and a TV airing PBS and Nickelodeon learning shows. There wouldn't be any claw machines or anything that would require money while urging a kid to scream bloody hell for it. There'd also be delivery drivers to drive people home to avoid people forgetting their children because of the in-store bar. The bar would be called Barsucks. Like a dyslexic starbucks but with a bar, and an emphasis on straws for sucking. Yes, they'd have coffee too because there'd be a huge book section with a sofa for you to sit and read. Besides reading the fabulous books the bloggers have already written, there'd also be a Store Magazine with articles from peoples blogs. Yes you could get it free online, but the magazine would be so pretty and much more entertaining than the crap that's already out there.

I think there should also be an in-store spa and all day karaoke. In fact, if you get up and sing karaoke, you get a 5% discount. If you suck really bad, 10%. Because it's called Barsucks.

Maybe it should also be a hotel with weekly rates because nobody would want to leave.

Basically, Mombies would be like an amusement park for moms. We could even have an annual mom-off where we have moms compete for best recipe, fastest laundry sorter, best driver while having ice cream launched at you from behind, fastest cork opener, margarita pong...

But that's just a dream in my head for when I become a multi-millionaire. Until then, you'll just have to go to all our little shops to get our crazy on merchandise. Parade it like they do in the south (Julia Sugarbaker reference).

Anyway, Spreadshirt has a free store option, and a premium store option. I really wouldn't mind paying for premium services, but they will give it to me for free if I put this link somewhere. So, I'm going to sell out for a minute and put this link here. I do want to make it known, they didn't approach me with the deal. I found them and then approached them. I had already decided to switch before this happened so if you want to do a store, check this place out... It's worth it.

T-Shirt Printing

I will be posting links when my store is ready enough.

Labels: , , , , ,

Crumpets and Bollocks: I dream that someday, moms will have a place of our own that we don't have to clean. It would be a store called Mombies. Until then...

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

I dream that someday, moms will have a place of our own that we don't have to clean. It would be a store called Mombies. Until then...


Dribbles and Grits Announcement

So I have a store at zazzle, cafepress, and now spreadshirt. Spreadshirt will be my main store. You will get better quality shit with that. I have more design room, and other printing options so I can make your tits sparkle. Zazzle will be the store where I place randomness words on shirts. Simple stuff I can do in seconds. I'll keep cafepress, but I probably won't market it much. If I add products to it, it will be undies and beer stuff and maybe household stuff. Less t-shirt stuff. I hate to make you go to different places for different chizz, but I'm not a multi-millionaire with access to my own inventory, and y'all don't like me that much to make it worth the investment if I were.

Actually, if I were, I'd invest in a few mom bloggers. It would be one major store of awesome stuff from Moms who drink and swear's brain, Insane in the Mom-Brain's brain, and The Bloggess's brain, (The Holy Trinity of Mom Bloggers) as well as the many others I love, and it would be like Macy's except there'd be a section to buy and sell antiques and silly strange unusual stuff like these...

From Insane in the Mom Brain
We think under the baby heads are petrified penises

From The Bloggess
This was sent to her as a gift, and she loves it.


I think it should be called MOMBIES. That is what I'd call it.

There would also be an in-store day care, and it would have pre-school teachers working there and a TV airing PBS and Nickelodeon learning shows. There wouldn't be any claw machines or anything that would require money while urging a kid to scream bloody hell for it. There'd also be delivery drivers to drive people home to avoid people forgetting their children because of the in-store bar. The bar would be called Barsucks. Like a dyslexic starbucks but with a bar, and an emphasis on straws for sucking. Yes, they'd have coffee too because there'd be a huge book section with a sofa for you to sit and read. Besides reading the fabulous books the bloggers have already written, there'd also be a Store Magazine with articles from peoples blogs. Yes you could get it free online, but the magazine would be so pretty and much more entertaining than the crap that's already out there.

I think there should also be an in-store spa and all day karaoke. In fact, if you get up and sing karaoke, you get a 5% discount. If you suck really bad, 10%. Because it's called Barsucks.

Maybe it should also be a hotel with weekly rates because nobody would want to leave.

Basically, Mombies would be like an amusement park for moms. We could even have an annual mom-off where we have moms compete for best recipe, fastest laundry sorter, best driver while having ice cream launched at you from behind, fastest cork opener, margarita pong...

But that's just a dream in my head for when I become a multi-millionaire. Until then, you'll just have to go to all our little shops to get our crazy on merchandise. Parade it like they do in the south (Julia Sugarbaker reference).

Anyway, Spreadshirt has a free store option, and a premium store option. I really wouldn't mind paying for premium services, but they will give it to me for free if I put this link somewhere. So, I'm going to sell out for a minute and put this link here. I do want to make it known, they didn't approach me with the deal. I found them and then approached them. I had already decided to switch before this happened so if you want to do a store, check this place out... It's worth it.

T-Shirt Printing

I will be posting links when my store is ready enough.

Labels: , , , , ,

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