My confession to you

I was found guilty...

Finish the Sentence Friday Writing Prompt


I was found guilty the day I was born. I was already guilty of crimes I had yet to commit. It's because I'm human. There are many crimes I've committed against God and against myself, crimes I've already asked God for forgiveness, but I've also committed heinous acts against humanity. Acts I have yet to confess until now. Here is my confession to God, and just as importantly, my confession to you. May he forgive me for being so, well, flawed. I beg your forgiveness as well.

Crimes against humanity I am guilty of:

I never told people who I loved that I love them.
fear
fear of being rejected
fear of not being good enough
feelings I didn't deserve them

I never forgave people and some I took too long to forgive
Fear of being hurt again
Anger and resentment because I was hurt

I don't trust myself
I second guess myself
and I tune off my intuition
my radio signal to God
my radio signal to others
Doubt. Insecurity.
I believed criticism instead of praise
If I have no faith in myself, then where is my faith in God?

I want to rule the world
I dominate situations instead of acting as a team
I have to be right, and I will not allow others to be wrong
I fantasize of power, success, and things that make me superior instead of equal
I believed might is right, and my fists solved problems before my heart
That you must fight the enemy to win a war instead of loving them to remove the need for it
That death would stop evil before love would
I placed my desires and ego above the better good of all those around me
I hurt others believing it would heal my pain
I pushed others down believing it would make me fly
When all I had to do was open my wings and be

I didn't love when people needed it
I drove passed homeless people because I didn't want to share my wealth
and because I didn't want to feel their pain
I drove passed people broken down along side the road
because I feared urban legends of an evil that doesn't exist
I didn't call my nephew to see if he wanted to join us for sledding
because I was so busy trying to do things that do not matter
I forgot about the things that do
I do not call my grandfather, ever. Or my aunts. Or my uncles.
Because I think they will always be at the next holiday reunion
I didn't love my neighbors when they wronged me and needed my forgiveness,
and I didn't get to know half of them
Too many times I've seen my children need me, and I didn't want to stop what I was doing.
Sometimes they needed a hug or some direction, and other times, they just wanted me to listen.
I thought what I was doing was more important
I thought grown up things were a higher priority than kid things
I thought they were resilient enough to get over it without me
I flinch every time I am asked to hold someone's hand because it's awkward to me
Because I didn't think I knew them well enough to caress them,
even in a small way that would impact them more than it would inconvenience me
I do not hug enough because I don't have that kind of attention span
I simply did not love enough because I didn't love myself

I didn't understand the language of love
I shunned people who were reaching out to love me
I didn't care about things that mattered to the world
things like peace, understanding, kindness, compassion, hope and truth
Instead, I cared about things that didn't matter to the world
things like anger, resentment, ego, fear, hate, recognition and lust
I was self seeking instead of self fulfilling
I didn't smile enough
I put my own sadness above the happiness of others
I killed my own happiness in the process because I needed to love
I needed to love more than I needed to be loved
I needed to take care of others more than I needed to be taken care of
I needed to embrace the butterflies in my tummy and release them to the world for them to see



If for whatever reason you like my blog, you know, you can subscribe to it.

Enter your email address:


Delivered by FeedBurner

You can also find me under these rocks...