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Crumpets and Bollocks: Poor John

Poor John

Texting
Let's pretend you are guy named John. You are AT WORK. Talking to people. And your phone beeps a text message. This is how the conversation goes...

Person X: You too Love

John: Who and where are you?

Person X: Is your phone not telling you? Or did your butt dial that for me too? I'm starting to form a bond with your butt here. If you must know who I am, I'm the unicorn who climbed your apple tree with my opposoble thumbs and is watching you watch people from the other tree you are in, and if you fall, I'll use my unicorn magic to make sure you land in something soft.

You may think, "Oh people text the wrong number all the time," but not in this case.

See, I'm obviously Person X. I have no idea who John is even though I'm forming an emotional bond with apparently his butt. I was chatting with my friend on Facebook. The last thing she said to me was to have a fantastical day after butt texting me "y ok." So I chatted back, with her name on my Facebook in a normal chat window, "You too love." And instead of going to my friend's facebook chat, it went to John's phone chat. He wasn't even on Facebook.

After a long line of questioning from both of our ends, refreshing my browser, typing in messages instead of the chat window, I decided I had no idea why Facebook was doing this, so I tried calling my friend, the numbers she listed on facebook, and low and behold, the second number was John.

Let this be a warning to you all. Make sure your numbers you listed on your Facebook are YOUR numbers. Poor John. He probably is too scared to sleep tonight considering a random stranger texted him she's forming an emotional bond with his butt and then called him. He probably thinks I'm the NSA.

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Crumpets and Bollocks: Poor John

Friday, December 13, 2013

Poor John

Texting
Let's pretend you are guy named John. You are AT WORK. Talking to people. And your phone beeps a text message. This is how the conversation goes...

Person X: You too Love

John: Who and where are you?

Person X: Is your phone not telling you? Or did your butt dial that for me too? I'm starting to form a bond with your butt here. If you must know who I am, I'm the unicorn who climbed your apple tree with my opposoble thumbs and is watching you watch people from the other tree you are in, and if you fall, I'll use my unicorn magic to make sure you land in something soft.

You may think, "Oh people text the wrong number all the time," but not in this case.

See, I'm obviously Person X. I have no idea who John is even though I'm forming an emotional bond with apparently his butt. I was chatting with my friend on Facebook. The last thing she said to me was to have a fantastical day after butt texting me "y ok." So I chatted back, with her name on my Facebook in a normal chat window, "You too love." And instead of going to my friend's facebook chat, it went to John's phone chat. He wasn't even on Facebook.

After a long line of questioning from both of our ends, refreshing my browser, typing in messages instead of the chat window, I decided I had no idea why Facebook was doing this, so I tried calling my friend, the numbers she listed on facebook, and low and behold, the second number was John.

Let this be a warning to you all. Make sure your numbers you listed on your Facebook are YOUR numbers. Poor John. He probably is too scared to sleep tonight considering a random stranger texted him she's forming an emotional bond with his butt and then called him. He probably thinks I'm the NSA.

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