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Dribbles and Grits to Crumpets and Bollocks: Did you run out of things to be Thankful for?

Did you run out of things to be Thankful for?

I've noticed a trend on my Facebook. All my friends who started out the month thanking something every day has stopped (they started weening out around Day 15).

I'm not going to assume they got lazy and have lack of follow through. I'm going to assume they ran out of shit to be thankful for. I mean, after you get through family members, God and your church, your house, your food, Channing Tatum, what is left?

So here are some ideas of things to be thankful for that I am thankful for.


1. Health, easy to overlook when you are healthy. If you are not, it's your biggest wish.

2. Your soldiers and veterans. You should have done that on Veterans Day, but if you didn't, do it now. If you hate soldiers, get off my blog.

3. Chairs and the guy who invented them. You are sitting on one now are you not? Like how much of your day is spent thinking, "I can't wait to sit down." Then you do and it's like, "Awwww yeah." Could you imagine life if nobody invented the chair?

4. God, because he made you, or he made the monkeys you came from, oops apes, is that it? Whatever you believe, God had a hand at it. Well, whether you believe it or not, you should thank Him just in case. If you don't forward this post, he will smite... I'm kidding. Why are those always on the religious ones?

5. Your guardian angel. They are trying to save you, probably from yourself. I know i'm getting into beliefs here, like they might not exist right? Some of you believe and some don't. But the thing is, the thought of having a superior being surround you, comforting you, protecting you, is a beautiful belief that helps some people sleep at night, and that is something to be thankful for.

6. The Elf on the Shelf. If it makes your kids behave, it's something to be thankful for. The stalker elf is watching. Shut the door to your bathroom when you go, he will peek. Pervert.

7. Tobacco. For Americans. This country was founded on tobacco, like that was what we traded early on and was the foundation to help us grow as opposed to just dying in the wilderness. If you are going to go into the Thanksgiving dinner with pilgrims and corn, you should smoke a pipe too. I'm kidding. It's addicting. Don't smoke.

8. The eff word. When you can't find the words to say how you feel, the f-word. It's also fun and it's where children come from. Many reasons to be thankful for this word.

9. Coffee. I mean how would some of us wake up for the day without coooofffffffeeeeeee?

10. Vodka. This is just so obvious I can't really comment.

11. Modern Kitchen Appliances. I can't imagine creating a Thanksgiving dinner back in the day before stuff like the mixer, the dishwasher, the gas/electric oven/stove, the fridge, and above all, the microwave. I don't really cook everything in the microwave. It's the easy bake oven for adults, like it's easy, but it tastes like it came from an easy bake oven. Anyway, as I prepare food, I'm so thankful for modern technology and that I'm not plucking feathers from a dead turkey that the husband threw on the sink (you know the men of the past just plopped dead meat somewhere annoying every time).

12. The Ground. If it wasn't there, you'd have to fly, and humans don't fly (neither do pigs) so that would end badly somehow.

13. Hugs. Not the Hershey's kind though you can be thankful for that too, which brings me to...

14. Chocolate. I medicate my PMS with chocolate. I know I'm not the only one.

15. I was going to do something silly like your meds, as I'm sure everyone is thankful for their meds, but no the last one should be serious right? Be thankful for yourself. I'm very thankful I exist. I am a good person who helps people and contributes to the world, and I'm thankful I'm here. You too contribute, and you should be thankful that you are here.

You know as I'm writing this blog, my daughter informs me randomly that at school she put that she was thankful for God and her sister. That made me kinda proud for a moment, especially since we don't go to church for God to be on her mind like that. That sort of thing must happen when you name your kids after angels.

Note: I am thankful for my family. This isn't a blog post on what I'm thankful for as much as creative ones for other people to use.

Labels: , , ,

Dribbles and Grits to Crumpets and Bollocks: Did you run out of things to be Thankful for?

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Did you run out of things to be Thankful for?

I've noticed a trend on my Facebook. All my friends who started out the month thanking something every day has stopped (they started weening out around Day 15).

I'm not going to assume they got lazy and have lack of follow through. I'm going to assume they ran out of shit to be thankful for. I mean, after you get through family members, God and your church, your house, your food, Channing Tatum, what is left?

So here are some ideas of things to be thankful for that I am thankful for.


1. Health, easy to overlook when you are healthy. If you are not, it's your biggest wish.

2. Your soldiers and veterans. You should have done that on Veterans Day, but if you didn't, do it now. If you hate soldiers, get off my blog.

3. Chairs and the guy who invented them. You are sitting on one now are you not? Like how much of your day is spent thinking, "I can't wait to sit down." Then you do and it's like, "Awwww yeah." Could you imagine life if nobody invented the chair?

4. God, because he made you, or he made the monkeys you came from, oops apes, is that it? Whatever you believe, God had a hand at it. Well, whether you believe it or not, you should thank Him just in case. If you don't forward this post, he will smite... I'm kidding. Why are those always on the religious ones?

5. Your guardian angel. They are trying to save you, probably from yourself. I know i'm getting into beliefs here, like they might not exist right? Some of you believe and some don't. But the thing is, the thought of having a superior being surround you, comforting you, protecting you, is a beautiful belief that helps some people sleep at night, and that is something to be thankful for.

6. The Elf on the Shelf. If it makes your kids behave, it's something to be thankful for. The stalker elf is watching. Shut the door to your bathroom when you go, he will peek. Pervert.

7. Tobacco. For Americans. This country was founded on tobacco, like that was what we traded early on and was the foundation to help us grow as opposed to just dying in the wilderness. If you are going to go into the Thanksgiving dinner with pilgrims and corn, you should smoke a pipe too. I'm kidding. It's addicting. Don't smoke.

8. The eff word. When you can't find the words to say how you feel, the f-word. It's also fun and it's where children come from. Many reasons to be thankful for this word.

9. Coffee. I mean how would some of us wake up for the day without coooofffffffeeeeeee?

10. Vodka. This is just so obvious I can't really comment.

11. Modern Kitchen Appliances. I can't imagine creating a Thanksgiving dinner back in the day before stuff like the mixer, the dishwasher, the gas/electric oven/stove, the fridge, and above all, the microwave. I don't really cook everything in the microwave. It's the easy bake oven for adults, like it's easy, but it tastes like it came from an easy bake oven. Anyway, as I prepare food, I'm so thankful for modern technology and that I'm not plucking feathers from a dead turkey that the husband threw on the sink (you know the men of the past just plopped dead meat somewhere annoying every time).

12. The Ground. If it wasn't there, you'd have to fly, and humans don't fly (neither do pigs) so that would end badly somehow.

13. Hugs. Not the Hershey's kind though you can be thankful for that too, which brings me to...

14. Chocolate. I medicate my PMS with chocolate. I know I'm not the only one.

15. I was going to do something silly like your meds, as I'm sure everyone is thankful for their meds, but no the last one should be serious right? Be thankful for yourself. I'm very thankful I exist. I am a good person who helps people and contributes to the world, and I'm thankful I'm here. You too contribute, and you should be thankful that you are here.

You know as I'm writing this blog, my daughter informs me randomly that at school she put that she was thankful for God and her sister. That made me kinda proud for a moment, especially since we don't go to church for God to be on her mind like that. That sort of thing must happen when you name your kids after angels.

Note: I am thankful for my family. This isn't a blog post on what I'm thankful for as much as creative ones for other people to use.

Labels: , , ,

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