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Crumpets and Bollocks: What might actually be another psychic dream about the next Expendables...

What might actually be another psychic dream about the next Expendables...

So I had this dream I'm going to be in the next Expendables movie, and I'm driving in a car with Sylvester Stallone behind me in the back seat and Bruce Willis next to me in the Passenger seat. There were other people there but I don't know who they were.

I'm on the interstate driving, and everyone is asleep except Bruce who is totally hitting on me. This was the conversation...

Me: Dude, for real, I can't decide between you and Sylvester. You are supposed to let the internal passion stuff build as we flirt in acting and stuff for like days before actually releasing it into hot amazing sex. Duh.

Bruce: So are you really going to pick Sly over me?

Me: He was Rocky.

Bruce: So what? I was John McClane.

Me: Good point.

Bruce: You really need to think about what you could be missing out on. I am not as old looking as Sly. People would think we belong together.

Me: You know when I developed little crushes on you guys, I never thought I'd actually meet one of you let alone both of you at the same time. It's just not fair. Thank God John Cena and Channing Tatum aren't going to be in this film.

Bruce: Well John Cena actually already has a small part. We are thinking of adding Channing to the team this movie. He's still thinking about it.

Me: Really? Fuck me. You both might just lose me to Channing.

Bruce: That's so superficial of you. You have known him how long?

Me: Can I not just be a whore and hump all of you?

Bruce: No. You have to decide.

Me: Is this why celebrities always have fucked up relationships? Like Brad loves Angelina, but he also loves Jennifer...

Bruce: Exactly.

Me: If it weren't for the paparazzi, I could so totally get away with humping all you guys. Fecking Paparazzi could kill a wet dream...

Then I woke up.


If you haven't already read it... Roundhouse Bitch is a blog post of reasons Sylvester should choose me to be his love interest in the next Expendables.

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Crumpets and Bollocks: What might actually be another psychic dream about the next Expendables...

Thursday, April 18, 2013

What might actually be another psychic dream about the next Expendables...

So I had this dream I'm going to be in the next Expendables movie, and I'm driving in a car with Sylvester Stallone behind me in the back seat and Bruce Willis next to me in the Passenger seat. There were other people there but I don't know who they were.

I'm on the interstate driving, and everyone is asleep except Bruce who is totally hitting on me. This was the conversation...

Me: Dude, for real, I can't decide between you and Sylvester. You are supposed to let the internal passion stuff build as we flirt in acting and stuff for like days before actually releasing it into hot amazing sex. Duh.

Bruce: So are you really going to pick Sly over me?

Me: He was Rocky.

Bruce: So what? I was John McClane.

Me: Good point.

Bruce: You really need to think about what you could be missing out on. I am not as old looking as Sly. People would think we belong together.

Me: You know when I developed little crushes on you guys, I never thought I'd actually meet one of you let alone both of you at the same time. It's just not fair. Thank God John Cena and Channing Tatum aren't going to be in this film.

Bruce: Well John Cena actually already has a small part. We are thinking of adding Channing to the team this movie. He's still thinking about it.

Me: Really? Fuck me. You both might just lose me to Channing.

Bruce: That's so superficial of you. You have known him how long?

Me: Can I not just be a whore and hump all of you?

Bruce: No. You have to decide.

Me: Is this why celebrities always have fucked up relationships? Like Brad loves Angelina, but he also loves Jennifer...

Bruce: Exactly.

Me: If it weren't for the paparazzi, I could so totally get away with humping all you guys. Fecking Paparazzi could kill a wet dream...

Then I woke up.


If you haven't already read it... Roundhouse Bitch is a blog post of reasons Sylvester should choose me to be his love interest in the next Expendables.

Labels: , , ,

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