Non-PTA Queen Bitch: Excuse Note from Hell

I tell people I'm a bitch in my school system. I am. I'm  not a bitch to people. I'm a bitch about advocating for my kids' best interest, something the schools really don't seem to give two shits about. Once i realized the schools have their own agenda, separate from us, I realized I am my child's social worker -- another hat us moms wear.

But as mom, I have limited power. The schools are arrogant. They want to dictate everything we should be doing as parents with extreme prejudice, yet they have the lowest of expectations for themselves imaginable. What's okay for the schools to do would get CPS called by the schools on a parent. The hypocrisy is sickening. On top of it, education neglect, my favorite subject. I find it odd that the schools can't make AYP while they have things like Bad Kid Forts and are quick to suspend and expel children for bull shit, and they want to charge us for education neglect when our kids are too sick to go to school. Even worse, most of us accept this logic as sound. 

I've had an issue in the past with education neglect. I might tell the back story in more detail some day, but basically back when my oldest was in Kindergarten (last school year), the nurse told me my kid wasn't welcomed at school until she got her vaccinations caught up (again, long story you are missing details), so my kid missed 5 days to wait on the appointment. Then I bitched about the nurse's fabulous people skills on my Facebook, and it got back to her, so she retaliated by obsessively pushing education neglect charges against me for the 5 days she made my kid miss. The only reason I came out on top is the guy in charge of any and all education neglect charges is a great guy, great at his job, and he's not out to get people like me, and he already knew my story because he and I chat frequently. Not to mention, she started Kindergarten a year early, like technically, by law, she wasn't required to be in school yet. 

But I think the school still holds some animosity because every report card since then says, "Absences are interfering with her work." This year, so far we only have 2 unexcused absences, which are for days that were doctor ordered. I guess he can only write an excuse note for 3 days at a time, and he wanted her home for 5.

So, besides the fact that I'm trying to advocate for my daughter's needs and I refuse to be bullied about it, I also have a lot on my plate as mom and the bull shit the schools add to it pisses me the fuck off. I just don't have time and energy for their Jerry Springer shit, but if they are going to force me to play their games, they are getting me raw. Tired, cranky frustrated annoyed as fuck, resentful raw. 

This is how I'm a bitch, well it's one of the many examples. When my daughter got sick with this horrific cold that's out, I wrote this excuse note. I purposely let myself keep it long just to annoy the ever living piss out of the school. Next time, I think I'm going to copy and paste articles from scholarly journals who use large medical terms. I also keep a copy in the computer, and I make a copy for the teacher, and a copy for the secretary to process. When I handed the secretary her copy, I explained, "You know, if you guys, the school, don't like her missing school because she's sick, then stop making her sick. Every ailment she has caught this year, she caught from here."


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To whom it may concern:

Please excuse [my daughter] from the following days of school:

Wed.  February 20, 2013

Thurs. February 21, 2013

She was sick.

Thank you.



[Mom]

Educational Reference NOTE:

In case someone doesn't believe me, or thinks I'm not qualified to determine if my child is sick (I know it sounds rude, but it's XXX County policy, not mine, that I am only qualified to excuse 5 absences a semester)…

There's that thing going around that looks like strep throat at the beginning, but then it turns into something that becomes more obvious that it's viral (common cold). It's even tricked some nurse friends of mine (the symptoms tricked them; Strep you can test for).

[my daughter] and my middle kid woke up Wednesday morning with a sore throat and mild fever.  I know most people generally don't send their kids to school with a fever at all, usual rule of thumb being 24 hours no fever with no fever reducing meds, so I had that going with my decision to keep them home. Plus I worried it might be strep, even though I knew it probably wasn't. Because I knew it probably wasn't, I watched it instead of rushing them to doctors.

Thursday rolled along and they still just looked sick. No fever that day, but it wasn't quite 24 hours no fever without fever reducing meds. They also started to develop the cough by the end of Thursday, and the sore throat got better.

Friday, fortunately, was a snow day or she probably would have missed that day too. It was one of those where she could have probably gone, but it was probably in her best interest to take that day and the weekend to get better before going back to an environment of a swarm of children and their germs, for her sake and the other kids.

Subjects that should not be open for debate:

I would think most people in their right mind can agree, don't send your kids to school sick and get everyone else sick. Right? Some parents feel so strong about that, that they verbally threaten and insult parents who send their kids to school sick. The problem is, when you are dealing with the common cold, the policy pretty much determines your kid to go to school contagious and sick.

Contagious period of a cold:

"First, scientists involved with common cold research do not know exactly how long a person with a cold is contagious. Based on previous studies, their best guess is that a person becomes contagious about two to three days before developing the usual symptoms of a cold. Second, this contagious period can last until the person no longer shows any symptoms. So in theory, a person is contagious for about two weeks."

Pasted from <http://cold.emedtv.com/common-cold/common-cold-contagious-period.html>

"When Am I Most Contagious?

Let's assume you're the one with the cold. During the two-week period when you're contagious, research indicates that you'll be most likely to transmit the cold virus when you're experiencing cold symptoms. The period when you're most contagious is when your symptoms are at their worst -- day 2 to day 4 of the cold. You'll become less contagious as the cold symptoms improve."

Pasted from <http://cold.emedtv.com/common-cold/common-cold-contagious-period.html>

So I shall be sending my kid to school contagious. She's not as contagious as she was on the days she missed, but she's still probably contagious for another week average.  This is why viral activities in the schools become small, localized epidemics. "It's going around…" Yes it's going around because we send our kids to school contagious. We don't have a choice. Then on top of it, I don't think the cleaners the schools use kill (so to speak) viruses, though whatever you use seems to be very effective on bacteria.  So my daughter is going to sneeze or cough on Monday, touch something, and that virus is going to sit there on that hard surface ready to infect people for at least 2 days unless intercepted with an EPA approved pesticide (disinfectant) for that specific virus.  Fortunately, I'm sure every kid in her classroom already has had this and built an immunity for it because that's probably where she got it from to begin with.

Doctor's Note:

Now, the doctor issue. I know these absences can be excused with a doctor's note because they are at least more qualified than I am to determine if my kid is too sick to miss school, well at least for 3 days at a time without getting under some strange radar. According to Pub Med, cold symptoms…

"Calling your health care provider

Try treating your cold at home first. Call your doctor if:

• Breathing becomes difficult

• Your symptoms get worse or do not improve after 7 to 10 days"

Pasted from <http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001698/>

I did not need to call my doctor in this case just like most cases. While we do thankfully have insurance, they don't seem to cover the costs too well. Even when it was 100% insurance coverage, I still had a 10 to 20 dollar copay plus the insurance just refuses to pay some of the doctors for whatever reason. I am not racking up any more future collection letters from doctors who can't get paid from the insurance and instead of calling me about it, turns me over to collections 6 months after the appointment. I will do that when my kids need to see a doctor. Otherwise, taking them to a doctor just to retrieve a note for XXX County Schools to make you guys happy:

1. I can't afford it
2. I don't have time for it
3. Immune systems weaken a bit while fighting off colds. It's dangerous to put kids in a germ infested environment like the doctor's office, hospitals and schools when they are sick. I wouldn't let them visit a nursing home even while sick, not even to see their favorite family member had we had one in a nursing home.

I would apologize my child's best interest interferes with the school's convenience, but I won't because the apology is owed to me. The schools should not be placing their convenience of paperwork and policy over the health and well being of the child. I am well aware most people reading this, whether you agree with me or not, have no control over XXX County policy. I'm merely adding this information in the case there ever is a debate about negligence as a child's health trumps education, and for the record, we did read, add, and learned a new animal at home, among other things. Completely unrelated, but I also taught some adults, over the weekend, including a secondary education math teacher, the basics of division and fractions, which is sad like who's really neglecting education in this world? You guys really need to remove the old fashioned divide by symbol completely from the curriculum. It just confuses people.

If the absences are interfering with her work, my suggestion is to find a better EPA approved pesticide for the classroom because that's where she's catching everything. Chlorox offers some fabulous wipes for the healthcare setting (not the kind you get at Walmart). I also suggest upping hygiene in the school entirely. I believe her teacher is on it to the best possible paradigm of classroom hygiene, but they often leave the classroom. In addition, if people would stop sending their kids to school sick to conform to policy, you'd greatly reduce absences overall. On my end, we are doing what we can. We up the Vitamin C and Zinc during the school season, though I have yet to really find a product that bypasses the digestive system to intake those vitamins on a regular basis (as they are often killed in the intestines before absorbed).  We wash hands, and I germ chase (controlling the unwanted pests of the viral and bacterial world).

For more information: Jump on Google. Avoid WebMD and stick to CDC, WHO, EPA (pesticides, like instead of killing roaches and rats, you are killing viruses), and PubMed (my favorite), as well as the American Academy of Pediatrics and other places doctors with an IQ over 140 might bookmark.

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